PAUL:	It's time, once again, to welcome our weekly panel on political culture in 
	Newfoundland.  With me in the studio is my favorite syndicated 
	columnist Ariel Flint, well known pundit, pollster, and political insider J. 
	Richard Candow and a newcomer to the panel, joining us by phone from 
	Halifax, is Professor Carl Jonson, a political scientist at The University 
	of Newfoundland at St. John's.

ALL:	Hello.

PAUL:	Before we begin, I'd like to mention that Carl has just been appointed to 
	the prestigious Valdmanis Chair in Political Economy at UNSJ.  
	Congratulations, Carl.

CARL:	Thank you, Paul.

PAUL:	So everybody, a busy week politically speaking.  Perhaps we should 
	start with the blockbuster, the startling revelation that Clyde Wells is a 
	twin and that both he and his brother Bren have been acting as Premier.

RICHARD:	I don't know why everyone's so upset over this.  There's been no 
	sugestion that Bren's made any policy decisions, he functioned mainly in 
	a ceremonial capacity.  And it turns out they were both campaigning 
	during the election, so in fact the people endorsed the two of them.

ARIEL:	Your crass partisanship is showing again Richard.  What they've done is 
	simply against the law.

RICHARD:	Premier's a big job.  Two heads are always better than one.

ARIEL:	You don't find it at all creepy ?

RICHARD:	I've got nothing against twins, no !

CARL:	It certainly raises some new theoretical questions about rational choice 
	models of political behaviour ...

ARIEL:	The question now I guess is whether Bren's going to go quietly.  I've 
	heard that he's reluctant to move aside, and I can see why.  I was looking 
	at tape of some old news conferences after the tell-tale mole was 
	revealed and certainly Bren's the more level headed of the two.

RICHARD:	I like Bren, I do, but it was Clyde's name on the nomination papers.

ARIEL:	And on the ballot Richard, although I know you and the other boys at 
	the trough have always considered democratic conventions more 
	ceremonial than anything.  This isssue brings up the question of honesty 
	and integrity in politics here in Newfoundland.  I mean, here we have a 
	leader of a province who has achieved that position through duplicitous 
	means . . .

RICHARD:	Don't be ridiculous.  It's impossible to run the government and be 
	perfectly candid with the public.  You go on about this every week.  
	You're living in dream world, Ariel, if you think honest public 
	disclosure is anything but a recipe for chaos and disaster.  If I told you 
	what really went down during the last election, they'd have me locked 
	up in no time.  This a non-issue.  Next!  Non-issue! Next!
	
CARL:	If I could just jump in here and ...

PAUL:	Next, questions are being raised about arts funding again.  Should the 
	public be funding work like performance artist Ned Brocklehurst's piece 
	in which he will chop off one of his fingers and and then eat it ?

RICHARD:	An outrage.  These people aren't artists, they're con artists.

ARIEL:	Brocklhurst has a respectable international profile.  I, in fact, have one 
	of his pieces.  Granted this particular work may be a little self-indulgent 
	but it's no reason to call into question the principle of arm's length 
	funding.

CARL:	I've written a paper ...

RICHARD:	Self-indulgent ?  Who's going to pay for the medical costs ?  You and 
	me, that's who.  Come on, these people are taking us for a ride !

ARIEL:	The piece is about Arts cuts, Richard, it's a metaphor, a commentary...

RICHARD:	Really ?  A metaphor ?  I'm sorry I'm not sophisticated enough to 
	understand the metaphoric dimensions of self-mutilation.  I suggest 
	more cut backs.  Then maybe he'll cut off an arm.  Or maybe eliminate 
	the works: then maybe he'd lop off his head.  I'd probably pay money to 
	see that !  Then we wouldn't need public funding for the arts.

CARL:	I understand that in Berlin ...

PAUL:	Another tremendous kerfuffle was created earlier this week when a safe 
	sex 	manual was handed out to high school students without 
	parents' knowledge.  What do you make of 
	that ?

RICHARD:	(snorts)

ARIEL:	Almost incredible that the Ministry had the courage to grab 	the 
	bull by the horn and confront this issue, but it's really 	long 
	overdue.

CARL:	I think it was finally the statistical report on adolescent fornic --

RICHARD:	(hitting manual)  But just look at this.  Look at it.  It's nothing short of 
	pornographic.  And it comes with equipment, for god's sake.  At least I think it's 
	equipment.  What's this, could someone tell  me, please, what this is ?

ARIEL:	It's a dental dam, Richard.

RICHARD:	A what ?

ARIEL:	A dental dam.

RICHARD:	I've got a young fella in school now, do you want to tell me what he's 
	going to do with a dental dam ?

ARIEL:	Why don't you ask him ?  Look, you simply can't stop these 
	urges and desires once they start making themselves felt.

RICHARD:	Yes you can.

ARIEL:	Of course you'd recommend systematic repression.

RIACHRD:	Not at all.  A programme of vigorous exercise.

ARIEL:	(laughs)  Ooh, Richard, you're steaming.  Look, it's healthy, it's honest 
	and it's empowering.

RICHARD:	I don't give a dental damn about empowerment.

PAUL:	Maybe we should give the last word to Carl.  Can you sum up your 
	position in fifteen seconds, do you think, Carl ?

CARL:	Yes, well, ah...., mmm, I don't think so.

PAUL:	Fine, well, always enlightening and vigorous.  Thank you, and we'll 
	see you again next 	week.