MELEE

PAUL:	( whispering into mic )  It's almost midnight, and 
	still the play is not over ... I've missed my bus back to St. John's, 
	and there's no place to stay in Bay L'Argent ... but I'm rivetted to 
	my seat in the Grand Hall of the Pageant ... I see it now, the 
	parallels ... this is method. The fishery in the late 1700's, just like 
	today.  The squalor, the desperation of the poor.  It is so authentic 
	... this is what real theatre is about !  I can sense that the 
	peasants are ready to rise up.  The play is long, some of the 
	audience has fallen asleep, but time develops its themes, the 
	anger is almost three-dimensional, the despair is so believable ... 
	and now the lights are coming up on Act III, Scene 7 of "The 
	Portuguese Gaitering and Evisceration of Merchant Wareham."

THE SCENE GOES HERE

PAUL:	This has certainly woken the audience up !  Talk about reality ... 
	there are screams coming from the front of the hall, people in the 
	front rows are covered in stage blood ... many of them are 
	vomiting (making sick, being sick)

ASS'T VOICES:	Is there a doctor in the house ?  We need a doctor !  HELP !  He's 
	hurt !  Stand back !  Take that you, bastard !  Unting Uck !  He's 
	dead !  Stop it !

PAUL:	The actors are dancing around in some ritual frenzy ... Whoa ... 
	Philip Dean is being carried from the theatre by a team of stage 
	hands ... there's a fight going on ... now there are flames from 
	behind the curtains ... 

SFX:	DISTANT EXPLOSION

PAUL:	There's panic in the pit ... an explosion in the parking lot !  The 
	crowd is beginning to stampede !  PLEASE, PEOPLE, THERE'S 
	NO NEED TO PANIC ...

SFX:	PAUL BEING TRAMPLED

	I'm outside the theatre now, the Auxiliary Shuttle bus is a burning 
	hulk ... people are weeping ... there are sirens in the distance, 
	ambulances, I hope ... It's just like Lollapalooza.  I don't know who 
	are the actors and who are the tourists ... there's Jerome Granger 
	... Jerome !

WOMAN:	What do you think you're doing ?  Get your hands off me, you 
	jackass !

PAUL:	I'm sorry.  I thought you were a m ...

PAUL IN STUDIO:	And that's where my tape ran out.  Wouldn't you know it, hey ?  
	But all that excitement ... the chaos ... I fell for it.  It was just a 
	part of the large set-piece, the orchestration that sees the whole 
	Baie L'argent Toime of Toimes Pageant score so highly on all the 
	tourist report cards.  There was no damage.  No one was really 
	hurt.  Except, Philip Dean actually twisted his ankle then, on the 
	last night of the run.  You'll be happy to know he is recovering 
	under the care of his foot man, heh-heh-heh.