Earling:	Here's Ron Gellately and his sidekick Bill Reddigan in 1950, 
	with the BCN in financial crisis and a huge advertising push 
	to keep the station afloat.

RON:	You know, Bill, so much has changed since Confederation 
	in so short a time.

BILL:	Time does seem awfully short now, doesn't it, Ron?

RON:	Yes, it seems like we're so much more modern all of a 
	sudden.

BILL:	I know I am.

RON:	Tell me, Bill, as a modern man of Newfoundland, what's 
	mostly on your mind these days?

BILL:	Well, these days, Ron, it seems I mostly think about kitchen 
	appliances.

RON:	That's a modern notion, Bill.

BILL:	I'll say.

RON:	Do.

BILL:	No more manual beating for my wife, Ron.

RON:	You're wife's name is Ron?

BILL:	No, Molly.

RON:	Lucky girl.

BILL:	She's a Mixmaster girl now.

RON:	A Mixmistress.

BILL:	Oh yes.  No more chapped palms and tired arms for my 
	kitchen queen.

RON:	Say, that's swell.

BILL:	And no more bending over the oven all morning.

RON:	No?

BILL:	No, sir, she's got a sunbeam shining up her kitchen now.

RON:	Sunbeam toasters are awfully shiny, aren't they, Bill.

BILL;	And when that Wonderbread pops, Ron.

RON:	Yes?

BILL:	Molly beams,

RON:	You beam,

BILL:	We all beam,

RON:	For Sunbeam.  Toasters and mixers; appliances and 
	accessories for the modern man and woman of 
	Newfoundland.

BOTH:	Aaaah!

BILL:	Cigarette, Ron?

RON:	Don't mind if I do, Bill.  Say, these aren't Bugles!

BILL:	No more Bugles and Gems for this smoker--I've switched to 
	the healthy, filtered smoke of Sailor's Mellow Deluxe.

RON:	(inhaling) Mmm.  You're an old navy man, Bill.  Used to 
	smoke Sailor Twine Blend I recall.

BILL:	Yes, but now I get all the flavour I want with the medicinal 
	throat soothing action of the new asbestos filters.

RON:	It's in the filter!  A very modern smoke indeed, Bill.

BILL:	And for only pennies extra a puff.

RON:	Only pennies extra, heh?  That's keeping up with the times.

BILL:	But you know, Ron, it seems that all this modern living, this 
	hustle, this bustle ... it's making life so complicated.

RON:	I know what you mean.  I was saying just the other day to 
	Jeannie Best of Treytown as we danced ever so 
	energetically at her lovely daughter's wedding, it's good 
	sometimes to just sit back and enjoy one of the old-
	fashioned pleasures.

BILL:	It sure is.  And I bet I know just what old-time delight you 
	were thinking of, too.

RON:	Really?

BILL:	A Furlong nob.

RON:	Well, I'll be darned.  You're a mindreader, Bill.

BILL:	Furlong's Confections have been coming up with the juiciest 
	nobs in Newfoundland for over a century now.

RON:	That long, heh?  That's swell.

BILL:	Nob, Ron?

RON;	Why not?

BILL:	Whether it's butterscotch, bull's-eyes, peppermint or 
	molasses, enjoy a Furlong nob today.

RON:	(with nob in mouth)  Yes, as Mina Sweetapple of Harbour 
	Grace wrote to me only last week, in these topsy-turvy 
	times, you've got to find that delicate balance of the old-
	fashioned pleasures with the conveniences of modern living 
	here in the hearty, bustling isle of Newfoundland.  

BILL:	Everything is better these days, eh, Ron ?

RON:	Bigger, better and faster.  And now, a word from our 
	sponsor.

ANUSELTZER AD


MAN (Bill):	(GRUNTING)  Morning.

WOMAN:	God, honey, you look awful.

MAN:	I think I overdid it at the Church Dinner last night.

WOMAN:	Aw, honey, bunged up?

MAN:	And how.

SFX:	KNOCK, KNOCK

WOMAN:	Who's that at the back door?  LOOK, IT'S THE ANU-
SELTZER MAN !

RON:	Too busy to wait for the slow action of a traditional laxative ? 
 Try Anu-seltzer, the effervescent suppository.

SFX:	BELT UNBUCKLING, PAPER RIPPING, FIZZING

MAN:	AHHHHHHHH.
9
WOMAN:	Now you look your old self.

SFX:	THEY KISS

RON:	Start your day the Anuseltzer way ... Anuseltzer, the 
effervescent suppository laxative ... from Doyle's !  Now sit 
back and enjoy the delightful voice of Grace Boutelier, as 
she sings a special, homey version of "Makin' Whoopee".