THE CAB SEQUENCE - 7

PAUL:	On a Friday night, this city throbs.  And there is no better place in 
	St. John's for feeling its pulse than in the front seat of a 
	Crawford's Cab.  So I've arranged to ride shot gun in just that 
	position.  With me is Myles Crawford, owner and dispatcher of the 
	cab company synonymous with a moving city.

MYLES:	(SHOUTS)  Somebody clean out the back seat of number 16 !  
	(TO PAUL)  Paul, welcome to Crawford's Cabs.  Look, I know I 
	promised you could ride in one of the cars tonight ...

PAUL:	Come on, Myles, you can't back out now.

MYLES:	But one of the lads had ... a bit of an accident.

PAUL:	Oh, yeah, what ?

MYLES:	Well, like he's dead ...

PAUL:	What !!! ???

MYLES:	That's him, right there.

PAUL:	Aaaaahhhh !

MYLES:	He was eating and, I don't know, he choked on a bone or 
	something.  It was horrible.  Took him ages to die.  So anyway, 
	I'm short a driver.  Why don't you just take the car out yourself ?  
	He's keys are in his pocket ... here, let me ... just stand in front of 
	me for a second, will ya ... can't jiggle the body too much.  There.

PAUL:	I'd love to drive, Myles, but I don't have a valid driver's licence.

MYLES:	No problem, I got stacks of them.

SFX:	DESK DRAWER OPENS, SCRIBBLING OF PEN ON PAPER, 
IMPRESSION OF STAMP

	How do you spell Mouth ?  

PAUL:	It's M-o-t- ...

MYLES:	There you go.

PAUL:	It says Mouth.

MYLES:	Mouth, moth, you're car 16, that's all that matters.

PAUL:	It says "Taxi Licence good for one night of driving in Downtown 
	St. John's."  Signed by Myles Crawford.  How did you get 
	permission to sign taxi licences, Myles ?

MYLES:	I was ... deputised ... once.  By the deputy mayor.  Here're the 
	keys ... you take off and have a great time out there tonight.  Just 
	be home before dawn, heh-heh-heh.

PAUL:	I haven't been behind the wheel of a car in years.

MYLES:	(LAUGHS)  Don't worry, boy, you're driving for Crawford Cabs.

SFX:	PHONE RINGS

	Crawford Cabs ... where ? ... right away.

SFX:	FADES OUT ... FADES UP AN PAUL IN CAB, DISPATCHER 
OR RADIO ON IN BACKGROUND, MUSIC PLAYING IS "TAXI 
DRIVER"

PAUL:	Thank god it's not raining ... plenty of people on the streets ... 
	easy to see the thin line between man the human and man the 
	animal ... all the animals are out on Friday night ... the rowdies, 
	the jocks, those catching, those waiting to be caught, the sickoes 
	... I'll go all over this burg ... I'll take fares any where ... I'll take 
	'em to the Battery and the Brow, to Rabbitown or Mt. Pearl ... I 
	don't care, makes no nevermind to me ... 

ER BLADES, KILLER:	(OFF)  Hey, cab !

PAUL:	You talking to me ?

ER BLADES, KILLER:	Who the hell else am I talking to ?

PAUL:	You talking to me ?

ER BLADES, KILLER:	You're the only one here.

PAUL:	You talking to me ?

ER BLADES, KILLER:	What, you got a metal plate in your head or something ?  Of 
	course I'm talking to you.

PAUL:	Oh, sorry, I was listening to the radio.  Where to ?

SFX:	GUY GETS IN CAB

ER BLADES, KILLER:	Six sixty-six Javelin Crescent.

PAUL:	Say, that's a pretty toney address.  Are you from around here ?

ER BLADES, KILLER:	Just shut up and drive.

PAUL:	You don't have to tell me that twice.

ER BLADES, KILLER:	I said shut up and drive !

PAUL:	Okay, okay.

ER BLADES, KILLER:	Change the channel on the radio, too, will ya, I can't stand the 
BCN.

PAUL:	Hey, I work for ...

ER BLADES, KILLER:	I said shut up and drive and change the channel !

MUSIC:	""

SFX:	FADE UP (OR CONTINUE) IN CAB (AS SONG ENDS)

MYLES:	(AS DISPATCHER) Javelin Crescent, anybody near Javelin 
	Crescent ?

PAUL:	Car 16, I'm dropping a fare there now.

MYLES:	680 Javelin ...

PAUL:	Roger, Myles.   wow, will you look at all the cops all over the 
	place.

ER BLADES, KILLER:	Keep on driving.

PAUL:	Hey man, that's J Richard Candow's place.

ER BLADES, KILLER:	I said keep on driving !

PAUL:	What ?

ERB:	Pull over under the trees.

PAUL:	Okay, that'll be ... oh ... look at that, will ya, geez, my first fare and 
	I forgot to turn on the meter !

ERB:	Here ... keep the change.

SFX:	CAR DOOR SLAMS

PAUL:	Wow ... an American fifty !  

SFX:	TAXI DRIVES ON.  PAUL STOPS ... COP CARS 

PAUL:	What's going on here, officer ?

COP:	Let me see your driver's licence, please.

PAUL:	Oh, cripes.  Here, look, I can explain, I only have this temporary 
	licence, but my name is ...

COP:	That's fine, Mr. Mouth, everything's in order, just keep on moving. 
	There's nothing to see here.

PAUL:	God, Myles works wonders.  Now, here's 680.  I knew I knew this 
	address ... that's Kathleen Hanrahan's house !  Hop aboard, 
	ma'am.

KATHLEEN:	The Stink Hammer, please.

PAUL:	Hello, Kathleen.

SFX:	DOOR SLAMS

KATHLEEN:	Paul, what a surprize.  What are you doing driving a cab, 
	moonlighting ?

PAUL:	No, I'm on assignment for the show ... I'm wearing the wire for a 
	night beneath St. John's.

KATHLEEN:	Exciting.  Say, what's with the commotion in front of J Richard's ?

PAUL:	It's a weird night in the big city, Kathleen.
	All that yellow tape, you don't suppose something's happened to 
	Richard, do you, Kathleen ?
	
KATHLEEN:	One can always live in hope, Paul.  But no, I bet Candow's in the 
	Caymans or something.  They say Edgar Roy Blades is after him. 
	You heard they found pieces of Earl Vardy today, didn't you ?

PAUL:	Wild.  You don't think the guy I dropped off ... no ... so, Kathleen, 
	husband not coming along ?

KATHLEEN:	Paul, really.

PAUL:	Oh, sorry, I didn't realize ...

KATHLEEN:	I am going to the Stink Hammer, after all.

PAUL:	Right.  I never pegged you for the type to go there, Kathleen.

KATHLEEN:	Oh ?  Why's that ?

PAUL:	You know what they say, Librarians do it by the Book.  I would've 
	thought the Stink Hammer was a little ... wild for you.
	
KATHLEEN:	I'm not a librarian, Paul.

MUSIC OR SOMETHING

PAUL:	Here we are !

KATHLEEN:	You coming in, Paul ?

PAUL:	Jeez, Kathleen.  I don't know ...

KATHLEEN:	Park it and leave the meter running.  It's on me.

PAUL:	I'll be right back !

SEGUE TO LINE-UP

PAUL:	What a crowd !  Line-up's about a hundred deep.  I'll just see if I 
	can leap to the front in my best documentary fashion.

BOUNCER:	(PLEASANT...)  Excuse me, sir, but (...NASTY) where the hell do 
	you think you're going ?

PAUL:	I'm with Kathleen Hanrahan.

BOUNCER:	Yeah, sure, everybody and their dog is with Kathleen Hanrahan ... 
	bud.  Back of the line.

PAUL:	No, I really am with Kathleen Hanrahan.

SFX:	PAUL GETS SHOVED IN THE CHEST OR PUNCHED

	Ouch ...

BOUNCER:	Sorry, citizen, you seem to have my fist stuck in your ...

kathleen:	It's okay, Bronco, he's with me.

BOUNCER:	Good evening, Ms Hanrahan.  Your friend here looks a little 
	peaked, maybe he needs to sit for awhile.  Go right in.

SFX:	ALARMS GO OFF

PAUL:	(WHISPERS)  God, the microphones !

BOUNCER:	Your pal has set off the metal detector, Ms Hanrahan, I'm going to 
	have to search him.

KATHLEEN:	Be gentle, Bronco.

BOUNCER:	Kid gloves, don't worry.

PAUL:	I can explain, look, I got a doctor's certificate, there's a plate in my 
	head ... hey, watch where you put those kid gloves, Bruno.

SFX:	NIPPLE MICS GET BRONCO-HANDLED

BOUNCER:	What kind of a weird-o are you ?

PAUL:	Paws off, Doorboy.  Virtual nipples.

BOUNCER:	He's clean, unfortunately.

SFX:	THEY ENTER THE STINK HAMMER.  LIZBAND CUT ROARING 
IN THE BACKGROUND

PAUL:	It sure is loud in here !

KATHLEEN:	What ?

PAUL:	Are any of these people wearing clothes ?

KATHLEEN:	It's the LizBand ... they're hot, eh ?

PAUL:	Wow ... the LizBand, I've always wanted to see them live !

WOMAN:	Hi, do you come here often ?

PAUL:	What ?  I'm sorry ...

WOMAN:	I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

PAUL:	The Royals ?  They don't have a chance against the Indians.

WOMAN:	Want to be my Wizard ?  I'll be Dorothy !

PAUL:	They don't have the pitching.

WOMAN:	I even got the red shoes.

PAUL:	Yeah, I like the Red Sox ...

WOMAN:	I could be your Wicked Witch of the West.

PAUL:	The West ?  I like the Angels.  Could go all the way.

WOMAN:	Me, too.

PAUL:	Ginger ale would be fine.  I'm an alcoholic. 
	Do you know Kathleen Hanrahan ?

WOMAN:	What ?

PAUL:	Do you know Kathleen Hanrahan ?

WOMAN:	I know what men really want.  Meet me downstairs in the 
	women's washroom.

PAUL:	Gee, well ... goodbye.  These people might look weird, but they 
	sure have opinions on sports.  Now where did Kathleen get off to 
	?  Maybe she's up by the stage.

MUSIC:	LIZBAND