MORRIS:	Leave us now, Melvin.

MELVIN:	Certainly, Morris.

MORRIS:	Melvin's become our little problem 
	child.  I can no longer control him, 
	Paul.

PAUL:	I don't mind admitting that this is 
	an item I have resisted doing for 
	some time.  I am at the offices of 
	Heirlihy's Funeral Home with Morris 
	Jesso, host of BCN's hit program, 
	Interred.

MORRIS:	And we're going to talk about?

PAUL:	Preparedness.

MORRIS:	That's right.  We are always 
	advising our listeners to prepare 
	for that day when we get the call.

PAUL:	From the great beyond.

MORRIS:	Yes.  Our discussions on Interred 
	can be faulted for being too 
	abstract, no one can concieve of 
	themselves ... past tense ... as it 
	were.  So what better way to make 
	death real than to go through the 
	arrangements that would be necessary 
	when say ... Paul Moth dies.

PAUL:	I have to say, Morris.  I don't like 
	this AT ALL! 

MORRIS:	Let's assume for arguments sake, 
	that you've been run over by a taxi.

PAUL:	Let's.

MORRIS: 	No foul play suspected, D.O.A., 
	routine affair.  

PAUL:	Been there.

MORRIS:	The remains have taken a slow ride 
	to ... right here, the embalming 
	room.  First question openned or 
	closed ?

PAUL:	Closed.  Thank's for this Morris.

MORRIS:	But Paul ....

PAUL:	Joking, Morris ... go on.

MORRIS:	...well closed, is so ... timid ... 
	don't be shy ... they do such 
	incredible work here, their 
	reconstructive ...

PAUL:	Closed.

MORRIS:	Let's look at a final home for your 
	weary bones, then.

PAUL:	Ohhh, yuck.

MORRIS:	Yuck?  Look at the craftmanship on 
	this box, the fittings, the plush 
	cushioning.  Take her for a test 
	drive?

PAUL:	Have you gone mad Morris?

MORRIS:	You're going to be there for a long, 
	long time, might as well get 
	comfortable.

PAUL:	I'm not happy about doing this ...

MORRIS:	That it, get in, comfy.

PAUL:	Sure.

MORRIS:	Want to try it with the lid down?

PAUL:	NO!  That wasn't funny Morris.

MORRIS:	You're the one that wanted it 
	closed.

PAUL:	I don't see the point in investing 
	in an incredibly expensive ... 
	cabinet, when I'm giving all my 
	organs to science.

MORRIS:	All of them?  Nothing for me.

PAUL:	(horrified) What?

MORRIS:	A keep sake.

PAUL:	Morris!

MORRIS:	I'm joking Paul.

PAUL:	You are more fun than a barrel of 
	monkeys Morris.

MORRIS:	Perhaps we should talk about your 
	estate.  Have you drafted a will?

PAUL:	What's the point?  The Canadian Tire 
	money?  It's yours.

MORRIS:	What about your house?

PAUL:	It's not mine, it's moms.

MORRIS:	And she too will pass.

PAUL:	I'm sad to say Morris I don't
	really have anyone to whom I 
	would leave my earthly possessions.

MORRIS:	Oh ... I've got an idea!  A contest! 
	The listener that comes up with the 
	best epitaph for Paul Moth, gets the 
	estate.

PAUL:	Why don't we throw in a Great 
	Eastern t-shirt and here look, my 
	comb.

MORRIS:	Can we do it then?

PAUL:	Sure if we can get out of here right 
	now.

MORRIS:	It's done.