PAUL:	Well, with Paul Martin’s 
	approval, Dave Dingwall has 
	lowered the boom on Jazz in  
	Newfoundland.  

	Legislation was tabled at 
	Imperial HQ last week that 
	will limit the Tobacco 
	companies ability to sponsor 
	cultural events.  

	Here to discuss the decision 
	are J. Richard Candow of 
	Tobacco for A Better Tomorrow,  
	and Boots Sweetapple, a 
	saxophonist with ... what is 
	it, Boots ?

BOOTS:	Inoperable Lung Cancer.

PAUL:	So it is.  You’re a smoker?

BOOTS:	Was, until I got news of this 
	great huge goddamn tumor in my 
	chest.

PAUL:	You’re understandably upset.

JR:	Cry baby!  Who’s to say Jazz 
	didn’t cause that cancer?  You 
	played a lot of jazz over the 
	years haven’t you?
	
BOOTS:	Ya, but ...

JR:	You can’t run from the facts, 
	Boots.

PAUL:	This really must be a dilemma 
	for you, Boots.  Sailor’s 
	Twine Blend have been very 
	supportive of Jazz in 
	Newfoundland.

JR:	Sailor’s have been the sole 
	supporter of the Twillingate 
	Wank Out for the past ten 
	years.

PAUL:	If you don’t know already, the 
	Wank Out is this province’s 
	premiere Jazz Festival.

	Sailor’s is withdrawing it’s 
	sponsorship because new 
	Federal legislation prohibits 
	them from obliging patron’s to 
	smoke. 

BOOTS:	The situation is bad.  What 
	with the government getting 
	out of culture.

J.R.:	Demonstrating that they do not 
	care.  And culture lovers 
	everywhere should be grateful 
	that, because of Prime 
	Minister Martin’s intervention 
	and the creation of a few 
	loopholes, the situation is 
	not worse. 

BOOTS:	This Martin cat, he is some 
	piece of work man, straight 
	from the board of Canada’s 
	biggest tobacco company into 
	cabinet and down go the taxes 
	on smokes!  Shit!

J.R.:	You are reading Paul Martin 
	all wrong.  The man’s an 
	aesthete.  All those decision 
	were motivated by his love of 
	jazz and dance and theatre. 

PAUL:	You’re saying that he’s not 
	then in the pocket of tobacco 
	interests.

J.R.:	Please .  Sure he’s a 
	friendly, but I don’t know of 
	any pay-offs.  Now if the guy 
	was in the movies that would 
	be different.  

BOOTS:	And this Ding dude.

PAUL:	David Dingwall--he’s one of 
	the lesser cabinet ministers.

BOOTS:	What is wrong with him?

J.R.:	Well, Cape Breton isn’t 
	threatening to separate ...

PAUL:	Mistake.

J.R.:	... and tobacco is king in 
	Montreal, put it together.

BOOTS:	One second there, Mr. Candow.

J.R.:	Call me Richard.

BOOTS:	How about I call you “Debbie.”  

	Listen, the people in 
	government, they got to be 
	held to a sort of moral 
	standard.

J.R.:	My oh my you are naive, but 
	then you’re an artist.  

	Listen this government just 
	sold the Chinese a couple of 
	Nuclear Reactors, and Li Peng 
	and the lads well ... I mean 
	they’re butchers.  If you 
	imagine they are going to get 
	squeamish over tobacco or arts 
	funding, think again.
	
PAUL:	J. R.! J.R. Even accepting 
	that the Liberals are crass 
	political opportunists, 
	functioning without any kind 
	of moral compass, free to do 
	whatever they like in what is 
	quickly becoming a one-party 
	satellite state of Wall Street 
	...

J.R.:	Yes?

PAUL:	I forget the point I was 
	trying to make.

BOOTS:	I know the point I want to 
	make!  Arts and culture are 
	totally undervalued in this 
	country, so taken for granted 
	that we are one of the first 
	expendable line items on the 
	budget.  

	“Get out and get some private 
	sponsorship”, says the G-man.  
	So we peddle our ass to 
	corporate Canada.  And the 
	only ones desperate enough for 
	exposure to throw us some 
	change are the booze and 
	tobacco outfits.  
	
	Once that relationship is 
	finally established and we can 
	do our thing, the Government 
	comes back and says “wait a 
	second, we think not.”
	
JR:	What exactly can you do beside 
	play the saxophone, Boots ?
	
BOOTS:	Ahhhh ... not much.  I worked 
	as a like a production 
	assistant on a film once, but, 
	like, well I was fired.
	
JR:	I rest my case.  You’ll play, 
	my friend, because you don’t 
	have a choice.

PAUL:	The tragedy of jazz. Again.

	Well, thanks for coming in, J 
	Richard Candow, a 
	representative of Tobacco for 
	a Better Tomorrow, and Boots 
	Sweetapple, a jazz 
	saxophonist.
	
	Why don’t you take us out, 
	Boots, with a little ... no ?  
	A shame.

Page 7 of 7	BOOTS MEETS JR w/PAUL