GE 1996-7 Season 3 Episode 17: Studio O
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL: Word is that the new
collective agreement here at
the BCN will break down the
old union barriers and taboos.
Multi-skilling. In the near
future, I could be expected to
perform almost any task around
this station. I might even
have to man the board in the
studio, hitherto a task for
our highly-trained and highly-
sensitive BCN technicians.
SFX: PAUL PICKS UP MIC AND HEADS
FOR CONTROL ROOM.
PAUL: So, I have arranged with my
long-time sound engineer,
Hollis Duffett--
SFX: ENTERS CONTROL ROOM. BIG HUM.
PAUL: Hello, Hollis.
HOLLIS: Paul.
PAUL: I’ve arranged with Hollis for
an introduction to the control
panel here in storied Studio
O, a glimpse behind the
mysterious veil of radio
broadcasting.
Everything o.k., Hollis ? You
cleared this with the shop
steward ?
HOLLIS: You bet.
PAUL: Our studio is affectionately
known as “the killing floor”,
a reference to the days when
this building was an abbatoir.
At my feet is the blood
gutter, a shallow trench now
painted a cautionary yellow -
the 1975 arbitration line,
beyond which lies the
restricted zone of control
board and Hollis. (deep
breath) Here goes. One small
step for man, one giant step
for management.
SFX: STEPS OVER THE LINE.
HOLLIS: Welcome aboard.
PAUL; Geez, Hollis, old man --
you’re starting to look
redundant already ... just a
little joke. You know, I’ve
never had such a close-up look
at the board. Get a load of
this Krupps-Funkenscheit gear!
Some may laugh at the
antiquity of this venerable
station’s technology, but they
sure don’t build it sturdy
like this anymore, do they
Hollis ?
HOLLIS: They sure don’t.
SFX: BANGS THE BOARD.
PAUL: Cast-iron frame with
vulcanized steel cross-beams;
the stick shifts, the levers
and ... I don’t know what
those are; knobs you can
really get your hand around;
radium-rich lights casting a
fiery glow down onto eight fat
columns of controls, each
strip so wide you could land
a squadron of Messerschmidts
... and you rarely see a
mixing console these days that
still has the wow and flutter
foot pedals.
PAUL: So, Hollis, this doesn’t look
so difficult. Most of it is
automated these days, anyway,
isn’t it, Hollis ?
HOLLIS: Automated. Yeah.
PAUL: If the music’s all cued up,
why don’t you take this
opportunity to grab yourself
... a cup of java.
HOLLIS: Sure, Paul.
PAUL: What strip is my microphone
on?
HOLLIS: Three.
SFX: HOLLIS LEAVES
PAUL: Let’s see, ein, zwei, drei....
this must be it. Boy, this
brings me back to my days at
the university station -- the
technology’s fairly similar,
actually. What’s this ?
“Wiederhallen”. Try some of
that.
GETS LOTS OF REVERB.
Testing.... testing....
Alright! (radio dj voice)
You’re listening to The
Intergalactic Pulse -- I’m
your astral troop leader, Paul
Moth, and now, from planet
Beefheart, the Captain’s
latest vinyl coagulant ....
EFFECT OFF
Groovy. O.k., how about a
little “Aufs-chub”.
DELAY EFFECT.
What does that do to the old
VOX ? Heh, I like this. How
come I never get to sound this
good ? (dj voice) It’s 11:47
here on your big rock station
... (notices clock) Wait a
minute, the clock is stopped.
That can’t be right ! Where’s
Hollis ?
SFX: A LITTLE ALARM STARTS BEEPING
PAUL: (starting to hyperventilate)
No need to panic ... you at
home, don’t panic, remain calm
... Oh my god. O.k., the
music. (looking frantically)
Cue button, cue button, cue
button . Ah, “sturm”, no ...
“drang”, no ... “ostpolitik”,
no ... “Stichwort”, this looks
like it
SFX: HITS BUTTON AND WE GET THEME
IN TO SHOW, OR THEME OUT, OR
COMBO OF BOTH. PAUL FRANTIC
BUTTON PUNCHING LEADS NO
WHERE.
DOOR TO STUDIO OPENS
PAUL: Hollis ! Where are you ?
Help me !
HOLLIS RETURNS. PUNCHES OFF
SIX OR SEVEN BUTTONS. THE
PANDEMONIUM ENDS
HOLLIS: Good work, Paul ?
PAUL: What do I do now ?
HOLLIS: Speak into the microphone.
Introduce the music.
PAUL: O.k., good.
From Cape Breton, here’s
Natalie MacMaster with “The
Drunken Piper.”
CD: CUT 7 4:19
Page 7 of 7 STUDIO TOUR - SHOW # 17