GE 1996-7 Season 3 Episode 19: Cabot Correspondent
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL: Time, once again to check with our Cabot correspondent.
On the line from Bristol, England is Norman Parmenter. As you know
Norman, a cub reporter from our newsroom drew the short straw and
so has been booked passage on the recreation of John Cabot’s 1497
voyage of discovery. How goes it in the land of the limey , Norman?
NORM: You know what’s wrong with England, Paul?
PAUL: The stiffling effect of a retrograde class system?
NORM: (surprised) Yeah ... that’s it.
PAUL: My second guess was the absence of central heating.
NORM: My place is cold. Paul I was wondering, with the stri ...
PAUL: Speaking of the class system, just what cut of seaman are
crewing this “ship”? Old salts now doubt, old gobs, old yobby
lancers, gnarly, briny, leather lipped, rub-a-dub-dub, what have you ...
NORM: Most of them are ... well ... they do have ... ships.
PAUL: Weren’t you going to say “yachts”.
NORM: What’s the diff?
PAUL: HA HA HA HA HA! They’re all bored public school nancy
boys in search of adventure aren’t they Norman?
NORM: Yeah.
PAUL: They have no idea what’s in store for them do they?
NORM: No.
PAUL: You know about public school don’t you Norman?
NORM: Listen Paul, what’s the scoop on the strike at the BCN?
PAUL: There’s lots of grumbling and threats and there’s been
some vandalism up at the communications array, thugs have been
called in but it’s probably just posturing by management.
NORM: What about human resources, will they go?
PAUL: Hmmmm Hollis is knodding, and ... apparently, if there is
a strike ... we’ll have to come in to get our cheques. Jeez I’m glad you
brought that up Norman.
NORM: What about me? What’s my status, I mean with ...
PAUL: ( Paul makes crackling noise) Oh it seems we’re losing this
expensive line to England. Norman Parmenter from the land fried
bread. And from the land of Ice