GE 1996-7 Season 3 Episode 24: Firing up the Boilers
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL: We're still waiting here for the "all-clear" signal, and the historic
return to coal-fired radio. I'm being told that there is still some question
as to the pressure threshold on the giant Krechmeyer valves that regulate the
bandwidth overload. In the meantime, let's go now to another pre-recorded segment.
Last Monday, while still acting-interim host, Erling Biggs spoke with the New
Music Ensemble of Potsdam.
[INSERT ERLING AND DETMAR PIECE]
PAUL: We are back. We'll play that interview in it's entirety at some later date.
Great work Erling but I'm seeing now the orange flag from the top of the dam on
Less Bottom Pond and ..
SFX: Gun shot.
PAUL: There's the gun shot indicating that the Core of Engineers have completed the
tolerence tests on the big pipes that carries the water down to the great boilers,
there to be turned to steam to spin tubines that ...
ARI: (from a distance) PAUL!
PAUL: There he is Ari Uldmanis, Director of Engineering Emiritus, back in our neck
of the woods to fire up the ...
ARI: PAUL! Come down to the tunnels!
PAUL: (walking) The excitment is palpable. Every indication now that we will be
lighting the furnaces and returning to coal powered transmission during this very
broadcast. Ari, of course, volunteering his time to re-ignite the enormous
Krupps-Funkenshiete burners ... Ari so very good to have you back.
ARI: An honour Herr Moth.
PAUL: Paraguay agrees with you.
ARI: Still there is only so much of ones family one can endure.
PAUL: How true. So are we powering up today?
ARI: If you would accompany me.
PAUL: Where?
ARI: Beneath the furnace, below the boilers to the very bowels
of this vast radio works. To ... ZEE PILOT LIGHT!
PAUL: This operates on a pilot light system?
ARI: Yeah, why not. Come on.
SFX: Down steps. Cross to enormous concrete cathedral.
PAUL: HOLY MOTHER!
ARI: Yes the over flow, the cathedral we call it.
PAUL: It's purpose?
ARI: The flow of water from the pipes proved very ... unpredictable.
This was used as a secondary resevoir. And the boys on the dam today tell me
the water wants out!
PAUL: (apprehension begins) And where are we headed?
ARI: There is a utility tunnel over here.
SFX: Very heavy door opens. To new ambience.
PAUL: That's a big door.
ARI: With several million gallons of H2O on the other side you want ...
PAUL: Is this really ...
ARI: Look on the floor, there is some water down here .. without regular maintenance ...
PAUL: Where are we ...?
ARI: Isn't this exhilarating! I don't believe there is anyone still alive who
witnessed the first ignition of this mighty generator.
PAUL: Oh?
ARI: By all accounts it is quite a moment, after the fuse is lit the walls of
the tube ripple with flames from the residual methane.
PAUL: Tube?
ARI: The effect is called Lucifer's Halo. This is quite a privilage for you
Paul Moth, host of the Great Eastern.
PAUL: Where you are the senior tech in the ...
ARI: Sadly my advanced years preclude me from crawling the length of th tube.
Now, up this ladder.
PAUL: Ari this is the first I've heard of this ...
ARI: Come, come. Up.
SFX: Men up ladder.
PAUL: (with exertion) The young wizards now running technical matters at the
BCN argue, compellingly, Ari that the fidelity of the digital array far and away ...
ARI: BAH! Keep moving! Now when we switch from the digital array back to coal
fired radio listeners at home may be subjected to wave warping or the tunnel
jumping anomaly. Please stand back from your home set.
PAUL: Wait a second Ari, you're not proposing I shimmey down there?
ARI: We have come this far.
PAUL: But I'm ... I suffer terribly from claustrophobia, and...
ARI: Look, Paul, the truth is that your mission is a dangerous one, but think of
me. I am an old man, must I be hunted down for the rest of my days without the
solace of --
PAUL: Who's hunting you down?
ARI: It's not important. It's a small detail. But I gave my life to coal-fired
radio, and now I ask you to risk yours ... for me, Paul, for the BCN, and for
the fatherland.
PAUL: The fatherland?
ARI: GET IN THERE! There is no time to lose. Get in the tube!
PAUL: Alright. You don't have to manhandle me. I'll go down the g.d. tube.
ARI: Thank you, Paul.
SFX: Paul into tube.
ARI: Oh and here!
SFX: Box of matches tossed.
ARI: Good luck.
SFX: Very loud deep rumble.
PAUL: What is that?
ARI: They have opened the sluices, hurry! If the cathedral fills before the
boilers are fired up the pressure will be too high! We will be killed!
PAUL: I'm going as fast as I ...
ARI: Hurry!
PAUL: This must be it.
SFX: Matches mistruck and finally lit. The Lucifer Halo.
PAUL: ARIIIIIIIIIIII!
SFX: Cross to distant CABLE IDENT, that gradually gains presence.
ARI: Listen! They are playing our anthem! We are crossing to coal fired.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL!
IDENT WELLS UP AND PLAYS OUT
SFX: Distant sound of the great generator.
ARI: Look there! The black smoke billowing from the majestic stacks.
PAUL: The landscape here near the tower already beginning to darken under the
heavy grey precipitate.
SFX: ARI sniffs deeply
ARI: Smell that? Sulpher Dioxide. Congradulations Paul, you did a good job down there.
PAUL: I've got to tell you Ari when I was inside the vortex of flame, with all
the oxygen being consumed and then the punishing pressure on my ear drums,
losing consciousness during the seizure, well sir I was worried.
ARI: My work here is done, auf wiedersehen.
PAUL: Hasta la proxima!