GE 1996-7 Season 3 Episode 9: Delbert Onglow
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
 
SFX:	footfalls in large, resonant studio. 

PAUL:	While studio J here is only around the back of the BCN 
	building, a short three minute stroll from the home of The Great 
	Eastern it seems a world away.  It is here, in this storied sound stage 
	that BCN radio drama have been produced for over sixty years.  All of 
	our legendary thespians have taken their turn before these 
	microphones, big old zeppelin-like ribbon mics from Krupps-
	Funkenshiet, emblazoned with the famous sine-wave and swastika 
	symbol so well known in broadcasting ... 

SFX:	Blast of feedback.  

PAUL:	Sensitive instruments these ...  befitting the artistic 
	temperament of their users ... The more pedestrian craft we practice 
	can hardly compare to the creative enterprise, the high art realized 
	here.  Look, thumbed scripts, trays of butts, a couch and bottled 
	water.  Wow! But today we speak not to an actor but to his master, the 
	writer, the dramatist, the scenariarist.  Today we speak to the 
	scribbler behind BCN’s latest dramatic opus, Please Make It Stop.  I 
	am tremendously honored to be in the company of Delbert Onglow. 

DEL:	Paul.

PAUL:	Tell us about “Please Make it Stop”.

DEL:	It’s the second novel in my trilogy, The first book was 
	“The Misery That Is My Life”, followed by “Please” and the final book 
	in the series, “This Can’t Be Happening To Me” is coming out in the 
	spring.

PAUL:	It’s a family saga.

DEL:	Yes it essentially takes one family, The Fleming’s of St. 
	John’s through the nineties.

PAUL:	But then, next spring would only be ‘97?

DEL:	They don’t make it all the way to the end of the decade.

PAUL:	Of course.  Let’s talk about bringing the novels from the 
	page to the airwaves.  What challenges have you faced?

DEL:	Well large sections of the books are very interior ...

PAUL:	If I might interrupt, the vast dream sequence in the book 
	“The Misery That Is My Life” ...

DEL:	Dad’s delirium?

PAUL:	Yes, my favorite bit actually, that was not part of the 
	dramatization, is that the kind of ‘interior’ stuff you’re talking about

DEL:	It’s not a bad example, although that was cut because of 
	the ... explicit nature of the dream.

PAUL:	You anticipate my next question.  When the first book in 
	your trilogy  came out it was widely denounced as ... let me check my 
	notes here ... “A pornographic hallucination on gothic themes with no 
	redeeming characteristics as literature”  that was Books in Canada.

DEL:	Hey locally there was  “an open wound revealing the 
	rampant infection on the author’s imagination” ...  those notices really 
	worked well for me.

PAUL:	They got me to the bookstore pretty fast.  But the critics 
	have changed their tune.

DEL:	Ya I’ve gone from an unknown undesirable to top of the 
	guest list pretty fast.  It’s fun.

PAUL:	We are talking about a man Charles Bukowski once 
	described as having the worst personal hygiene and grooming in 
	letters. Success looks good on you Delbert.

DEL:	Thank you.

PAUL:	Back to the radio dramas.  Writers are always grousing 
	about interpretations, you’ve got a hand in this one, how do you 
	distance yourself from less than sterling work.

DEL:	I find it very easy to blame the actors.

PAUL:	I see.

DEL:	Where the nature of their work leaves them so naked and 
	exposed it’s not surprising that they’re often insecure, this makes them 
	fabulous targets.  

PAUL:	Are you thinking television?  

DEL:	I’ve had to. I’ve moved from literature, where I’m 
	known and respected by the odd egg-head.

PAUL:	I mean Delbet, who reads ... 

DEL:	Now with the success of the radio dramas, giving me 
	a profile of sorts among the oldsters and shut-ins,  the boob tube and 
	the narcotized livingrooms of the nation is a natural progression and 
	...  I might as well say ... that I’ve got a deal for The Misery That Is 
	My Life.

PAUL:	Congratulations. Penning these too?

DEL:	Well I’m not involved in the television scripts, they’ve 
	handed that off to a team of pros.

PAUL:	But they will remain gritty as always.

DEL:	They’ve soften bits, padded a few sharp edges.

PAUL:	Oh?

DEL:	Ya, first they’re changing the title.

PAUL:	Don’t like, “The Misery That Is My Life”?

DEL:	They’re going with “Everything’s Just Fabulous”

PAUL:	Oh no ... but Dad is still passing blood, still goes feral, 
	Mom is a deranged nymphomaniac who cannot manage, despite her 
	best efforts to kill herself ....

DEL:	Well ....

PAUL:	and sullen daughter Brenda?

DEL:	Look Dad’s a prosperous architect, Mom is a community 
	leader and Brenda’s a perfectly well adjusted young girl.

PAUL:	We’re talking sell-out?

DEL:	Absolutely.

PAUL:	Who is your agent again?

DEL:	Ewan Quinlan.

PAUL:	Yeah, should have guessed.  Regardless Delbert, I’m sure it 
	will be a hit.  Thanks for speaking with us today.

DEL:	My pleasure.

PAUL:	Ewan’s phone number?

DEL:	I can’t.

PAUL:	I understand.