Rare Books.

SFX:	Paul on downtown street.
SFX:	THUMP AS THEY HIT GROUND.
PAUL:	It’s always fun to poke around the folks’ old stuff, and find a 	
	way to turn the keepsakes of yesteryear into some quick petty 	
	cash.

SFX:	OPENING DOOR, RINGING BELL AND DRAGGING BOX INTO 
STORE INTERIOR.

PAUL:	I’m  at  The Incunabulum, a rare book dealer here in the old 	
	town, and -- (trips over and microphone hitting dirt) ‘Unting 	
	‘uck --- 

JULIA:	Let me give you a hand there, Paul M.

PAUL:	Ah Julia K., owner of this establishment and trader of volumes 	
	rare.  Nice sensible pumps.

JULIA:	By the way, I heard the show finally.

PAUL:	Great.  What did you think?

JULIA:	I just love the music -- that wonderful ... Swedish music, was 
	it?

PAUL:	Great.

JULIA:	So these are the books you mentioned?

PAUL:	Ya, my Dad was a compulsive collector ...

JULIA:	Of  books?

PAUL:	Very general, kept everything, not entirely “well” if you catch 	
	my drift ... but from the heap under the stairs I retreived what 	
	seemed, by outward appearance anyway, to be the oldest tomes.

JULIA:	Let’s have a look,  well this isn’t really a book is it?

PAUL:	No, more a collection of diagrams, I’d guess blueprints for a 	
	helicopter ... is it possible?

JULIA:	I’d say that’s more like a toaster oven.

PAUL:	What about these ... anatomical sketches or something?

JULIA:	Doodles, meaningless marginalia.

PAUL:	And see there ... this I find really interesting ... the guy’s notes 	
	are backwards!

JULIA:	Proving?

PAUL:	Dunno.  Not a great find then?

JULIA:	No.  And this.

PAUL:	The Rocky Road to Recovery by yours truly.  First edition.  
	Dust jacket intact.

JULIA:	The second edition would be much rarer still.

PAUL:	That’s a cruel stroke, Julia.  Not interested, heh?  Now, I know, 
	I got one here.  A Bible!  German!  Looks pretty old... Printed in some place 
	that starts with Guten and ends with Berg,  aaannd, the frontispiece here if 
	I’m not mistaken, would be Martin Luther!

JULIA:	Let’s have a look at that.  Ah, just as I thought, see, that’s not 
	Luther, that’s Chico Marx.

PAUL:	Really?  Nah.

JULIA:	This is what’s known in the trade as a “gag Gutenberg”.  Quite 
	common, unfortunately.

PAUL:	 Not even a good gag Gutenberg then?

JULIA:	‘Fraid not.

PAUL:	Oh well, I got two sets of pretty old encyclopaedias here.  They 
	weigh a lot, and the leather must be worth something.

JULIA:	Where did you come by them?

PAUL:	This one, the Anglo-American Cyclopaedia, I remember this, 
	my Dad used to get a stamp towards a volume with every fill up at 
	McKinley’s.  But where the old Hillman was so good on gas, we only got as 
	far as the letter U.

JULIA:	Too bad.  Can I see that?

PAUL:	Geez, we used to love the stories ... Uqbar and all those other 
	heathen hotspots...  Wonder what they’re called now?

JULIA:	Well, seeing as it’s not a complete set, I couldn’t give you more 
	than 30 cents a pound.

PAUL:	I must confess that I’m a little disappointed.  I was figuring on 
	getting  at least enough for the lunch buffet at the Malabar gate.  What 
	should I be on the look out for?  What kind of stuff have you got that’s 
	valuable?  

JULIA:	Don’t think only in terms of cash value Paul, think of what 
	each book means to you.  Then you’re a true collector.

PAUL:	Oh, see there’s where we aren’t communicating.  I’m an 
	opportunist.  I don’t care about .... IS THAT?

JULIA:	Sampler Comix, Number 12 ...

PAUL:	SAMPLER’s REVENGE.  I’ve never seen one.  How does it 
	turn out?  

JULIA:	Watch it! Watch it!  It’s very fragile.

PAUL:	Oh, come on -- just one more page...(taken away from him) 
	ach.

JULIA:	I’ll tell you what.  Seeing as the value of  the Sampler comic is 
	more future than actual, I’ll trade it for your complete box of odds and sods.

PAUL:	Ah, ya, books, books, books -- who needs ‘em?  Gimme the 
	comic.  You’re not just doing this for me because I’m taping,  I hope?

JULIA:	No, Paul, tis the good reader that makes the good book, and I’m 
	sure these will find a happy home.

PAUL:	Ya, I guess.  Julia L., always a pleasure to barter away an 
	afternoon at the Incunabulum.

JULIA:	See you again soon.