GE 1997-8 Season 4 Episode 1: Blaine Hart
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL:	It's been almost a year since I graduated from my trusted Underwood 
	to a desk-top computer though it seems a lifetime.  I don't want to come 
	of as an old dog incapable of new tricks...

BLAINE:	... it's something like that ...

PAUL:	WITH ME is Blaine Hart, the host of ... and the man responsible for 
	uping my links.

BLAINE:	Nobody else in the building has had as many problems.

PAUL:	(superior tone) Yes well Blaine I think I might be having trouble 
	with my server.

BLAINE:	Everybody has the same server.


BLAINE:	You don't know what a server is, do you?

PAUL:	No I don't.

BLAINE:	What, specifically has gone wrong.

PAUL:	Well my document is getting kind of unwieldy.


PAUL:	I don't even bother printing it anymore, it takes forever.

BLAINE:	What is this.. it's ... 800 pages ... what kind... You've got all your 
	work on a single document!

PAUL:	Yes could I have another document.

BLAINE:	Yeeees.  Like this ...

PAUL:	OOOh I see... well that is handy.  The other thing is reading the text.

BLAINE:	Yeah well you've "blocked" the entire document and I see it's all bold 
	italics underlined.

PAUL:	I wanted to see what this baby could do.

BLAINE:	How did you "block" everything?

PAUL:	It's a while ago but I think what happened was I moved the mouse down 
	the pad like this see ...


PAUL:	And I got to the end of the pad and boy the machine was just going 
	crazy, goobling up everything, I didn't want to go back up lest I blow 
	the cursor out the top of the screen.  You're nodding, so you know what 
	I'm talking about.

BLAINE:	Sure. Another thing, why is the machine so hot?

PAUL:	It's been on for almost a year.

BLAINE:	You can turn it off.

PAUL:	But I don't want to lose anything, I mean correct me if I'm wrong but 
	the "memory" is electronic.

BLAINE:	You just save stuff, you move the mouse up here to the tool bar on 
	the top of the screen ...

PAUL:	Let me stop you there.  Whenever I move the little arrow up there 
	bad stuff happens.

BLAINE:	Such as?

PAUL:	I got her stuck on Thesaurus and ... well did you hear my Cabot 

BLAINE:	Hmmm? No ... I was ... up a the cabin ... no radio.

PAUL:	Just listen to this - The Caboto undertaking is wee more than a 
	exterminator shill, a ordinance proposition pointed at to dunderhead a 
	downhearted quondam tribe into pragmatic it's without exception 
	opposite-to-right resource, it's anamnesis, is currency. -  Now in 
	the end I didn't even know what I'd meant.

BLAINE:	One great feature of this system is the Duhsaurus, see it just 
	sort of dumbs it down a bit.  

PAUL:	That's crafty, who would think of something like that?

BLAINE:	All the software is from Los Angeles. You've also been sending everyone 
	in the building the same memo for months and every time it comes back it has 
	all the addressees on the top.

PAUL:	Sorry.

BLAINE:	You bought an inflatable love doll and something called a "pez 
	juicer" over the net.

PAUL:	I was just brousing, I never wanted those...

BLAINE:	And the unit itself has sustained a fair bit of damage.

PAUL:	I got frustrated.  I'm off the booze and smokes pal.

BLAINE:	That was eight years ago.

PAUL:	Once an alcoholic, junkie, seditive-hynoptic, trace- hallocinogen, 
	coke-head , three-pack-a day-man always an alcoholic, junkie ...

BLAINE:	... three pack-a-day-man, yes I understand.  Do you want your 
	typewriter back?

PAUL:	If I could.