GE 1997-8 Season 4 Episode 13: Oougubomba - Part 1
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version. This is pieced together from a number of files and fragments. A few sections are missing.
DOUG : THE BCN THING
ERLING: Good morning, Canada, good afternoon, Iceland and Newfoundland,
my name is Erling Biggs.
On today's show: Paul Moth is alive and ... well, alive; the streets
of old Beebopaloolah; despotic musings; a big stink in Independence
Square; and broadcasts from Rebel Radio.
All of this for you, with me, on The Great Eastern, Nfld.'s Cultural Magazine.
SFX: THEME UP AND OUT
Good news of a kind. We have heard from Paul Moth.
Late yesterday afternoon, a package arrived at the BCN in a diplomatic pouch
from Ghana. It was addressed to "The Peoples of Canada", and marked one of two.
The second package is, like our noble host, unaccounted for. Whether due to
civil unrest in Oougubomba, or to the postal strike in Canada, we do not know.
Inside the sack were several cassettes, Paul's work tapes. It is an amazing
document, and I've done my best to edit a coherent narrative from it.
This then, is Paul Moth's Oougubomban Audio Diary.
But a word of warning - this programme contains material of a mature nature.
Listener discretion is advised.
PAUL: Ten days on the Atlantic. Sharing ... everything, with a crew of
Filipino tanker hands. The Dark Continent never looked brighter.
The former Newfoundland colony of Oougubomba beckoned.
Finally, we are near the river Bomba. But we missed the last flooding
of the tidal ream and so have dropped anchor for a humid, stinking three
days. The Captain apologized for the delay and as recompense, promised
me a hammock of my own on our return journey.
As the light fails, the air is filled with the stench of fleshly corruption.
The bloated carcass of a High Bomban Caribeast bobs past our scow.
As we wait for the fabled tidal ream here in the estuary, the water
is full of the great river's detritus - drowned animals and pilgrims,
beds of fresh water reeds choking in the fetid brine, tires and timbers,
reminders that the Bomba is unfriendly to Man's vain enterprise.
An archipelago of books floats by - a mission station library washed
into the river? Look, a copy of Faust.
Tomorrow, the tidal ream, a natural phenomenon rivalled only by the great
bore that is the Bay of Fundy, will rush us up the delta to the capital
and former seat of the Newfoundland colonial administration, Beepbobalula.
SFX: BUSY DOCKSIDE SCENE. PAUL CLAMBERS DOWN GANGWAY ONTO WHARF.
PAUL: (still disoriented from riding tidal ream) Aaghgawawawlla...
HAWKERS:(rush up to him) Spare change, buddy? Wanna buy a necklace? etc.....
FRANK: Mr. Moth! Mr. Paul Moth!
FRANK: (swatting his way through hawkers) Come on, go home out of it b'ys.
Your mother's got buns for you.
FRANK: Damn cornerboys. They take advantage of people as they get off the boats
still woozy from the tidal ream.
PAUL: It is disorienting. Not unpleasant though.
FRANK: Frank Yeboah Johnson. I'm station manager of Radio Bomba here in Bebop.
PAUL: Awfully nice of you to meet me.
FRANK: Not at all, Mr. Moth. You are a distinguished visitor indeed. On behalf
of my countrymen -- Howehshegoinby -- welcome to Oougubomba -- howehshegoinby.
PAUL: Let's see... "Notbadby".
FRANK: Ah! You have been studying.
PAUL: Browsing through the old phrasebook, you know. I understand my accomodations
FRANK: Yes, yes, the hotel's close by.
PAUL: Close by here?
FRANK: Let me help you with your bags.
SFX: THEY BEGIN WALKING ACROSS DOCK.
PAUL: The boys from BCN engineering sent you a crate of equipment and parts and stuff.
It'll be unloaded a little later.
FRANK: Wicked. I'll have a truck sent down. Ah, here we are.
PAUL: The Hotel Welcome Hotel.
FRANK: It is one of the city's most prized heritage buildings. What do you think?
PAUL: I love that style of architecture ... that really ... old style of architecture.
FRANK: It could use a lick of paint, but I think you will be quite comfortable here.
SFX: ENTERING LOBBY AND APPROACHING DESK.
SFX: DING OF DESK BELL.
DESK: Can I help you?
PAUL: Yes, Paul Moth, I believe my friend here reserved a room for me.
DESK: That's impossible, I'm afraid we are permanently full.
FRANK: Excuse me for a moment, Paul.
(takes man aside) Hedde kede kolo ootahbah manoolayo giveitupby keh!
DESK: Dakeddeko soo soo soowap.
FRANK: Kwe-kwe ahoomba, chewdisla.
(back on mic.) Sorry for the delay. The boy will show you to your room.
SFX: DOUBLE DESK BELL.
PAUL: I can see I'm with the right man here, Frank.
FRANK: A small misunderstanding. No doubt you would like to freshen up.
PAUL: No, not really.
FRANK: Well, then, my car is just outside. Shall we have tour of Bebopalulah?
PAUL: Perfect. (shouting after bellhops) Heh, watch out for those bags,
there's really valuable electronic equipment in them.
Tour of Bebop
At the cafe / bombing
Bomban news highlights
(Bomban Broadcasting Corporation One - Classics and Then Some)
PAUL: The seat of Government, the heart of modern High Voltan politics, the Post
Colonial Building. And there he is, the Government, Dr. Dr. Raymond "Big Teach"
Yasaidityouwho, this country's constitutional expert and President for life.
He's hard at work in this, the massive Library of Voltan Peoples. Dr. Dr. Yasaidityouwho?
RAY: (AT TYPEWRITER) Ahhhh, you must be the liberal western journalist I was to meet.
PAUL: Journalist? Actually, arts and entertainment, so ...
RAY: Even better! I am an artist.
RAY: Yes, I am a dramatist. Are you familiar with the play King Lear ?
PAUL: Yes ... I...
RAY: I wrote that.
PAUL: Marvelous play.
RAY: I am now struggling with a new draft of the High Voltan Constitution.
I have been consulting my extensive library.
PAUL: Yes ... I see ... you have ... a copy of The Magnetic Fields by Andre Breton.
RAY: The Dadaists had true insight into governance. Sit down please.
PAUL: Thank you.
RAY: I am a very busy man, I have to run this state single handed, you know.
Please be brief.
PAUL: How's the new Democratic Assembly work ... ?
RAY: And another thing, don't upset me or I will have you killed.
Please go on.
PAUL: Okay ... now before you were a despot, you ...?
RAY: I was a high school teacher, and then an education administrator during
the Newfoundland Colonial period.
PAUL: Good training for ...
RAY: Newfoundland rule left the Peoples of the Bomba like children.
I determined, using SRA tests that the nation was functioning at a grade 4,
PAUL: A literacy campaign must have been ...
RAY: Under my leadership the country has advanced. Tomorrow I will grant
everyone in the High Voltan Confederation a B.A.
That is a Bachelor of Arts.
RAY: Ahhhh ... how about Comparative Literature?
PAUL: That would be nice ... it's a growth area.
RAY: (barks like a dog)
PAUL: I'm sorry ?
RAY: It's nothing. My doctors told me I have advanced syphilis, so I had
them imprisoned. Are you hungry? I could have one of them cooked up.
PAUL: Actually, I had some chimp cheese just before I left my hotel.
RAY jumps from his seat
RAY: HYDRO-ELECTRIC POWER! Would you like to see my plans ?
PAUL: Indeed. Hydro is big in Newfoundland, you know.
RAY: Yes. I have studied the Churchill Falls agreement. Your Premier
Smallwood was a genius.
PAUL: WOW! Looks like quite a development.
RAY: It is of such a scale that it can generate sufficient power for all of
Africa with enough surplus to run an immense magnet for harvesting precious
metal from outer space.
PAUL: Jeez, I'd never thought of that. Now tell me if I understand this correctly.
You are going to dam the River Bomba ...
PAUL: ... Creating a massive reservoir that will displace millions of people
near the headwaters at New Botwood.
RAY: No. They will be drowned. You see, they do not support my government.
PAUL: I see. This is a very large dam. Have you studied the ...
RAY: I had some foreign engineers look at it. They expressed some concerns,
so I had them thrown out of the country and appointed myself project manager.
I granted myself this diploma.
PAUL: That's nice parchment.
RAY: But the Rebel radio broadcasts are telling the peoples that the project is bad.
Needless to say, I am addressing the problem with an educative program of shower
bombing. I bought the planes and bombs in France at Armsfest 96. Time for a nap.
SFX: Ray passes out and begins snoring
PAUL: (whispering) Oh, well ... then ... thank you, Dr. Dr. Raymond Yasaidityouwho.
I'll just make my way out of here ....
Paul napping...wakes up "Bebop...still only in Bebop'...door knock. Apocalyse Now riffs.
"Dumplings boiled up in a sheet." Larry Murphacola...terminate with extreme prejuduce.
ANNOUNCER: (HEAVY PARTY ON THE GO. HYPED DJ STYLE) Leave that dugout alone,
man, you'll catch afire!
Yeah, brothers and sisters, howshegoinby. I'm Peter Milla, with radio pleasures
from the liberated zones of Bomba.
SFX: PETER'S PERSONAL STING.
PETER: (yelping) Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Do you know it can only be time for the most
pleasurable contest in the contested territories !
Yesb'y, what is that sound from Oougubomba !
Let's play now !
Chief of the buttons, Brother Samuel Kojokwanzaa, waddyasayb'y ? Play that noise.
SFX: THE NOISE
Alrighty, then. Let's spin the barrel and ... here's an envelope and it's from,
the coast, from New Pouch Cove. It's from Mrs. Susie Formanger, and Mrs. Formanger
writes, "Howshegoinb'y, I enjoy your game show and I think the noise is that of a
Caribeast about to be slaughtered for the feast of St. Guy." Sorry, Mrs Susie
Formanger, not the right guess. Stay the course, sister.
Samuel Kojokwanzaa, don't keep it a secret any longer, let's hear the sound.
SFX: THE NOISE
That's it. If you know that as something, send your response to What's That Sound
From Oougubomba, care of People's Radio Bomba in exile, General Delivery,
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.
SFX: PARTY GETS GOING AGAIN IN STUDIO.
Now, more pleasure ! Music for the liberated zones ! It's Papa Wemba, with Mandola!
ERLING: That's all we have on another momentous Saturday. The Great Eastern today
brought you tape of Paul Moth's Journey to Oougubomba. Our engineer in St. John's
was Hollis Duffett, and director of radio at the BCN is Ish Lundrigan.
Tune your web browser to www.greateastern.cbc.ca, that's our homepage. There you will
find information, sound and pictures from the BCN- something new every week.
The Great Eastern is re-broadcast Saturday evening to Canada on Radio Two of the
CBC service, and to Latin America, the Caribbean and the United States via the
short-wave service of Radio Canada International.
My name is Erling Biggs. Join us in the hope that next Saturday Paul Moth will
return and take his seat as host of The Great Eastern, Newfoundland's Cultural Magazine !