GE 1997-8 Season 4 Episode 19: Wordworks
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL:	The Great Eastern welcomes back resident lit lover and 
	host of Wordworks,  Kathleen Hanrahan.

KATH:	Paul.

PAUL:	You hold a volume much anticipated by yours truly.

KATH:	Yes, The Cabal Labarinth: The Masterplan Behind The 
	Conspiracy to Control Your Mind by Enos Critch

PAUL:	I'm amazed he managed to get it published.  It's 
	about time.

KATH:	It's self-published.

PAUL:	An avenue I'm currently investigating.

KATH:	Well choose a better paper stock, this feels like 
	those brown paper towels.

PAUL:	The important thing is that this information is 
	finally getting out.

KATH:	You don't buy into this.

PAUL:	(grave) Indeed I do Kathleen.  Enos has been denounced 
	as a crack-pot, even hospitalized, but if you listen to what 
	he's saying.

KATH:	You believe that Microwave Ovens are actually listening 
	devices ....

PAUL:	Scanners.  Yes.

KATH:	That Exxon had agents working in pre-history who were 
	responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.

PAUL:	That's well known.


PAUL:	Fossil fuels Kathleen, perhaps you've heard of them.

KATH:	And all this stuff about Kurt Cobain being murdered and 
	Courtney Love being with CIA and the Disney connection.

PAUL:	Oh Kathleen, Kathleen.  Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself.

KATH:	Murdered?

PAUL:	Oh no, Kurt's still alive.  He now lives, with a new 
	identity, in a central Newfoundland community... that shall 
	remain nameless, though I will say that it has a prominant 
	role in the history of Canadian aviation.

KATH:	Kurt Cobain is living in Gander!

PAUL:	I didn't say anything.  But it is a lovely town.

KATH:	Next a book you should be familiar with.


KATH:	The Great Canadian Bachelor Cookbook.

PAUL:	It's out!  They never sent me a copy.

KATH:	It's a collection of recipes by, and biographical sketches 
	of, some of Canada's best known and, if I might, most eligible 

PAUL:	Kathleen, please.

KATH:	Here you are, in your Paul's Pot apron.

PAUL:	Cripes I look like my mother.

KATH:	And your recipe is ...

PAUL:	Stuffed Snout ... now before listeners dismiss this out of 
	hand they should try it, and it's not expensive.

KATH:	I don't imagine.

PAUL:	The boys at Variety Meats, BCN 7:30 Weds, put me on to 
	snout, in this case stuffed with bread crumbs, herbs and 
	sub-utility trim.

KATH:	Sub-utility trim?

PAUL:	Slaughter house leftovers.  Delightful dish - imagine a 
	roasted gourmet uber weiner for six. Enough of me.  Some other 

KATH:	There is a recipe for Veal Orloff  by famous Toronto 
	antique dealer Fabien Lalonde.

PAUL:	That's a bit of work.

KATH:	He serves it with Potatoes Anna and asparagus tips 
	turned in butter.

PAUL:	This is Fabien then?

KATH:	Yes photographed with his porcelain collection and his 
	sixteen cats.

PAUL:	You sure "Bachelor" is the term here.

KATH:	Paul!  Because a man collects porcelain and has cats 
	doesn't mean he's homosexual.

PAUL:	Yes it does Kathleen.  HEY! An old buddy of mine from 
	L.A. days, "Nails" Dunn.  He's cleaned up his act.

KATH:	"Nails", no this fellow's name is Kurt Woodward.

PAUL:	Sure.  Curried Kippers in a Bourbon sauce.

KATH:	Wiht bourbon on the side.

PAUL:	The bachelor's life.  Look at this Take-away Vindaloo, 
	a whore, and  for desert a lifetime of regret ... oh hardy har har.

KATH:	Former hockey great Gary Yomp offers a pack of Contact-C 
	washed down with Aqua Velva.

PAUL:	Photographed beautifully, curled up on a park bench.  (sighs)

KATH:	What is it Paul?

PAUL:	A wave of melancholy washes over me Kathleen.  I confess 
	that lately ... well ... its getting to me ... I fear ... loneliness.

KATH:	You?

PAUL:	Twilight approaches and ... shag this, I'm doing it!  
	I'm going to start dating again!

KATH:	Good for you.

PAUL:	What are you doing later?

KATH:	Paul, I'm married!  

PAUL:	In name only, everybody knows that.  We could get together 
	for coffee and...  I guess not.  Well let me take advantage of 
	the national airwaves to announce to the single women of Canada, 
	or at least them that are looking for love, that I'm accepting 
	calls.   No reasonable offer will be refused.

KATH:	A bold step Paul.