GE 1997-8 Season 4 Episode 2: Political Panel
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.

PAUL:	From points around the globe they have returned to serve 
	our panel on political culture - to my far right, pundit, polster 
	and spin meister J. Richard Candow.

JR:	Paul.

PAUL:	Close to my left, liberal apologist and host of BCN's 
	Show Trial, Ariel Flint.

ARIEL:	Hello.

PAUL:	And having car toubles on the Cape Breton Highlands, 
	Carl Johnson.

CARL:	The old Gremlin's not what she used to ...

PAUL:	Well J. Richard your latest venture, the political rehibilitation 
	of Mobutu Sese Seko, has come to an end.

J,R.:	It's a great loss, The Congo weeps for Mobutu.

ARIEL:	Spare us!  There is no one, anywhere, who has a good word to 
	say about Mobutu.

J.R.:	That's an exageration.

ARIEL:	Okay despot but natty dresser.

PAUL:	I loved that jacket.  Now J. Richard you have returned to find 
	your Canada Liquidation 2000, a program to sell Canada for scrap, 
	endorsed by Stephan Dion.

J.R.:	Yes the fact is ...

ARIEL:	That simply isn't the case.

PAUL:	Well J.Richard has issued a press release.

J.R.:	Does it say in there that he DIRECTLY endorsed Canada Liquidation 
	2000? NO! Stephan Dion is simply saying that if Canada is divisible 
	then so is Quebec and it's implicit therefore that so is the rest of 
	the joint.  With the exception, of course, of the new mega city.

ARIEL:	The press release doesn't say "implicit"

J.R.:	BEEEECause it's implicit.

PAUL:	Right.

ARIEL:	So the Republic of Flin Flon, Free Chilliwack, Greater Bigger! 
	Just chop the whole country up.

J.R.:	Look at the Holy Roman Empire, they were having a blast!

ARIEL:	I don't know who is worse.  In defense of the separatist's 
	"small is beautiful" campaign Bernard Laundry cites the case of 
	Slovenia.  There's something to aspire to.

J.R.:	I think you're a bigot.  You're an anti-Slovenian!

ARIEL:	Am not.

J.R.:	Are to.  (singing) SLO VENIIA Great SLO VENIA

CARL:	Paul?

PAUL:	Cripes my head is pounding. Can we please move on.  Lots of 
	buzz about John Crosbie's political memoir.  

ARIEL:	I'd love to see a copy.

J.R.:	Ya.

PAUL:	Well I've got this advance copy and ...

JR and ARIEL lunge for book.

J.R.:	Give me th...

ARIEL:	Back off diaper boy.

ARIEL bites JR.


ARIEL to index

ARIEL:	Fetish - shoe Mulrooney, Finance, Fisheries, Florida 
	vacation, Flounder ahhh Flint, Ariel page 147.

J.R.:	Gimme,gimme, gimme

ARIEL:	The only NAC representative I could bear listening to was 
	Ariel Flint who seemed like ... a ... nice ... girl.

PAUL:	I'm so sorry Ariel.

J.R.:	Here! Cabal, Cabinet , Cabinet -idiots in, Candu Reactor, 
	Capelin, Capitalism. HEY I'M NOT IN HERE!  There's been some mistake.

ARIEL:	Nice girl?

PAUL:	If I might interject on a personal note - I think that what's 
	being said about the Mulrooney's is unfair.

ARIEL:	But Crosbie's big on the Mulrooney's.

PAUL:	Yes I know and that puzzles people and well ... the thing is ... 
	so they had a shoe thing going on, they are consenting adults, what's 
	the diff. Hmm?  Oh we are out of time.