GE 1997-8 Season 4 Episode 2: Political Panel
Note: this is not a transcript, but a working draft of the script, so there may be differences in the aired version.
PAUL: From points around the globe they have returned to serve
our panel on political culture - to my far right, pundit, polster
and spin meister J. Richard Candow.
PAUL: Close to my left, liberal apologist and host of BCN's
Show Trial, Ariel Flint.
PAUL: And having car toubles on the Cape Breton Highlands,
CARL: The old Gremlin's not what she used to ...
PAUL: Well J. Richard your latest venture, the political rehibilitation
of Mobutu Sese Seko, has come to an end.
J,R.: It's a great loss, The Congo weeps for Mobutu.
ARIEL: Spare us! There is no one, anywhere, who has a good word to
say about Mobutu.
J.R.: That's an exageration.
ARIEL: Okay despot but natty dresser.
PAUL: I loved that jacket. Now J. Richard you have returned to find
your Canada Liquidation 2000, a program to sell Canada for scrap,
endorsed by Stephan Dion.
J.R.: Yes the fact is ...
ARIEL: That simply isn't the case.
PAUL: Well J.Richard has issued a press release.
J.R.: Does it say in there that he DIRECTLY endorsed Canada Liquidation
2000? NO! Stephan Dion is simply saying that if Canada is divisible
then so is Quebec and it's implicit therefore that so is the rest of
the joint. With the exception, of course, of the new mega city.
ARIEL: The press release doesn't say "implicit"
J.R.: BEEEECause it's implicit.
ARIEL: So the Republic of Flin Flon, Free Chilliwack, Greater Bigger!
Just chop the whole country up.
J.R.: Look at the Holy Roman Empire, they were having a blast!
ARIEL: I don't know who is worse. In defense of the separatist's
"small is beautiful" campaign Bernard Laundry cites the case of
Slovenia. There's something to aspire to.
J.R.: I think you're a bigot. You're an anti-Slovenian!
ARIEL: Am not.
J.R.: Are to. (singing) SLO VENIIA Great SLO VENIA
PAUL: Cripes my head is pounding. Can we please move on. Lots of
buzz about John Crosbie's political memoir.
ARIEL: I'd love to see a copy.
PAUL: Well I've got this advance copy and ...
JR and ARIEL lunge for book.
J.R.: Give me th...
ARIEL: Back off diaper boy.
ARIEL bites JR.
ARIEL to index
ARIEL: Fetish - shoe Mulrooney, Finance, Fisheries, Florida
vacation, Flounder ahhh Flint, Ariel page 147.
J.R.: Gimme,gimme, gimme
ARIEL: The only NAC representative I could bear listening to was
Ariel Flint who seemed like ... a ... nice ... girl.
PAUL: I'm so sorry Ariel.
J.R.: Here! Cabal, Cabinet , Cabinet -idiots in, Candu Reactor,
Capelin, Capitalism. HEY I'M NOT IN HERE! There's been some mistake.
ARIEL: Nice girl?
PAUL: If I might interject on a personal note - I think that what's
being said about the Mulrooney's is unfair.
ARIEL: But Crosbie's big on the Mulrooney's.
PAUL: Yes I know and that puzzles people and well ... the thing is ...
so they had a shoe thing going on, they are consenting adults, what's
the diff. Hmm? Oh we are out of time.