GE 1998-9 Season 5 Episode 1: Apologies and Clarifications
Note: this is a transcript.
VISITORS to last weeks program will no doubt remember a spirited 
visit from local trivia-savant Rock Hiscock.

Where to start.

In response to a query about BCN's poor showing in the media race 
at this year's Royal St. John's Regatta, Rock offered a speculation, 
or theory, perhaps dressed up as fact, explaining the CBC's perennial 
dominance on the pond.

As a result of Rock's statements this station is obliged to offer the 
following clarifications:

There is no evidence that the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has 
been involved in the genetic engineering of so-called "super-hosts".

There is, to our knowledge, no broadcaster breeding facility in the 
Muskoka region of Ontario. Thus, a surprise budget shortfall at CBC 
Radio can, in no way, be attributed to the misappropriation of some 
$3 million by a shady project leader identifed by Rock as the "Sub-Wizard".

L. Ron Hubbard was not the originator of the slogan, "Classics and Beyond."

Coded messages are not, I repeat, not, broadcast on the CBC Radio Program, 
"The Transcontinental".

That fluorine-in-solution is an agent of Hypno-Zombification remains in 
contention and is not, as stated by Mr. Hiscock, a well-established fact.

Junior Achievers are an organization dedicated to promoting entrepreneurial 
skills in young people, and not, as Mr. Hiscock suggested...something else 
altogether.

The Broadcasting Corporation of Newfoundland apologizes to that most august 
body, the Royal St. John's Regatta Committee, to Ciba-Geigy, to management 
at CBC Radio, to the Department of Tourism, Government of Ontario, to the 
Church of Scientology, to Otto Loewe, to the Candian Dental Association, 
and to Junior Achievement of Canada for these errors and any inconvenience 
they may have caused.