SFX:	PAUL DOWN STAIRS

PAUL:	Get down.  This is the sometime portion of the 
	program in which I head beneath the BCN Building, 
	to the sturdy foundations, the unmovable stones and 
	mortar that house the wire, lacquer, and acetate tape 
	records of the station's business.  The BCN archive! 
	The Vault!  And here is time's gate-keeper, my boss, 
	Director of Radio, Ish Lundrigan.

ISH:	Paul.

PAUL:	A new season of CBC carriage dawns.

ISH:	We're back on in Canada?

PAUL:	Indeed.

ISH:	Summer passes so quickly.  (to mic)  Hello.  Bonjour.

PAUL:	I see you've a tape cued up.  What ancient shocker awaits?

ISH:	A curiosity from Newfoundland's rich pedagogical history.

PAUL:	(whining with disappointment) Education!

ISH:	What?

PAUL:	Thrill a minute … proceed.

ISH:	Back before "streaming" and "child centred learning" and 
	"Yamaha method"… back when teachers had an uncompromising, 
	hard line approach to learning ...

PAUL:	Hold on now, Ish, I think there have been real advances 
	made in education, certainly since my time …

ISH:	Bah!

PAUL:	I had one teacher who truly believed that the information 
	in a book could be passed to the brain of students through 
	physical application.

ISH:	I was taught the old math through Book Bashing, and 
	it's served me well.

	Anyway, you're fooling up the segment … back to the tape.

PAUL:	It is ?

ISH:	Winston Pilgrim reporting from the old Newfoundland 
	Eugenics Institute at Howley, 1959. 

PAUL:	(aghast) NO!

ISH:	Spare us the theatrics.  Listen.
 
SFX:	TAPE

WINS:	The shiny new facility will raise a generation of 
	Newfoundlander from birth through high school.  Only 
	Newfoundlanders with superior genes are allowed to 
	provide the raw material for this well-born, smarter, 
	stronger, faster citizen.

	Potential donors are given skill testing questions.

VOX:	Paris is to Jack-in-the-Box as Pump house is to …?

VOX2:	…ah …  Wax Museum ?

WINS:	But few qualify.  Once the best subjects are selected, 
	they are paired off and sent to the charming cabins in a 
	secluded wood near the facility.  Sleep tight, and hey, 
	think of Newfoundland.  By daybreak, the spawning of a 
	new generation is underway.
	
SFX:	TAPE OFF.

ISH:	What are you doing, Paul ?

PAUL:	I can't listen.  That is sick.  The moral and ethical 
	questions that arise, let alone those of good taste.

ISH:	Oh, we've done well without, have we?

PAUL:	You're not putting Nfld's problems down to bad genes ?

ISH:	If you ran a dairy farm like they've run this province, 
	well sir, you'd have very little butter.

PAUL:	I for one am glad the project was shut down.

ISH:	The kids were … well listen.

SFX:	TAPE ON

 
WINS:	The learning never stops for these youngsters.  
	As they sleep, tapes are played filling the nursery 
	area with the dulcet tones of Don Jamieson as he 
	reads from the Encyclopedia Britannica.  And after 
	a nutritionally sound breakfast, the kids are off 
	to instruction.

	Here's a little boy of two who is already reading.  
	And this strapping young fellow amuses himself with sums.  
	Hello there, son, what are you, ar

SFX:	TAPE OFF ABRUPTLY.

ISH:	So you see …

PAUL:	Just a second, now, what was that?

ISH:	What?

PAUL:	Let the tape roll.

ISH:	The point is…
PAUL:	Ish, come on.

ISH:	Oh, alright.

SFX:	TAPE ON

WINS:	(horrible screams) Arrggghhhhh, get them off me! 
	Get them off! Arrgggghgh..

SFX:	TAPE OFF

PAUL:	What happened to Wince?

ISH:	They bit him.

PAUL:	Bit him?

ISH:	The first … batch I guess you'd call them, they had a 
	problem with biting, and well, once they got a taste for 
	human flesh ...

PAUL:	How did they deal with them?
 
ISH:	They were shipped out to various families across the 
	country, and down to the States.  They were more trouble 
	when they were together.  It didn't end badly, some grew 
	into contributing citizens. Two of them ended up in Mike 
	Harris's cabinet up in Ontario.  Young McGwire's done well 
	for himself in athletics.

PAUL:	All of them come to such happy ends ?

ISH:	I'm … not sure they … are all accounted for.

PAUL:	Oh.

ISH:	Not to worry Paul, we're safe down here … in The Vault.