PAUL:	As promised, we're calling Erling Biggs, our erstwhile 
	Weather Watchdog, who is doing his turn manning the BCN's 
	mighty repeater station on the ever so isolated Funk Islands.
	It's a year-long tour of duty, one I have put, thankfully,
	behind me. It entails polishing of the steel and beam
	tracery on the towers, the changing of tubes and transformers
	in the works, and other routine maintenance so vital to
	communication. The task is not onerous, but it is very, very
	lonely.
	
	To make this call, we've had to move to studio U4 in the basement 
	of the building, the last studio equipped with a PBK line to the 
	Funks. Now, if you  notice a difference in tonal quality, please
	do not adjust your radio set.
	
	Well, you don't see many of these one-way lines anymore. Let me see 
	if I can crank her up here for ya.
	
	[Turning crank] Not being able to call out from the Funks, of course...
	one torment from the catalogue of torments visited on those at
	the repeater site.
	
	I hope this thing still works. [Ringing]
	
ERLING:	He...hello? Hello?

PAUL:	May I speak with Erling Biggs please?

ERLING:	Paul?

PAUL:	Yeah, indeed it is.

ERLING:	Ahh..  So... I can't ... So, uh Paul. Paul, how's it going?

PAUL:	Here in town? Well, sir, things are swinging. But we've called to 
	inquire as to your welfare. We're on the air I must warn you.
	
ERLING:	Well, you know. I'm fine. Good. You know. Keeping it together.
	Rifle still up on the wall, as they say. Can't complain.
	
PAUL:	Well, that's great to hear, because, well, I don't need to tell
	you this, it can be a trial.
	
ERLING:	To be honest, Paul, the longest nine months I have ever spent 
	anywhere...
	
PAUL:	Nine months? It's only been six months Erling.

ERLING:	Don't fuck with my head Moth. I've been...over here on the wall
	...where you mark off the days...I've been scratching off the days
	on the wall...
	
PAUL:	Now you didn't make the mistake of adding on to the scratch marks 
	that's I'd left by any chance?
	
ERLING:	Oh God...oh no...oh no...

PAUL:	Now Erling, crank doesn't last that long, so is there any message 
	that you'd care to pass along to the outside world.
	
ERLING:	Yeah. Yes, yes. Yes, a message to my girlfriend Marjorie. Marj, I
	know you listen to Paul's show...
	
PAUL:	Ohhh, that's probably not a good idea Erling...

ERLING:	Why not? What do you mean? She's OK isn't she?

PAUL:	Oh, she's very OK. Last time I saw her she was happy as a clam.

ERLING:	What is then? What do you mean?

PAUL:	Oh, probably not something that we should go into over the phone.
	And hey, good buddy, you just relax out there. Your replacement is
	doing very well. People love her. Erling...ciao baby.
	
ERLING:	Wait! Wait! Paul! Paul, don't hang up. I need to talk to
	someone...please [signal fading] ...
	
PAUL:	We have lost the line. Well, thank heavens for the advances of modern 
	technology. Winding this baby up would take the good right out of you.