The Newfoundland Information Office is revising Her Majesty's 
Lists of Governance Lists for the New Founde Land, 3rd Edition. 
Proposed amendments include scrubbing from the list of lists 
references to the High Colonial Phrenologist, the Sherrif's Ale 
Agent and an index including practices of witchcraft and Irish 
rituals on the shore south of St. John's. Persons petitioning 
against the proposed amendments are asked to post a request for 
the Vizier's pleasure on the King's Own Post, near the Shouting 
Place, in front of Government House.

Avalon Mothers for a Moment's Peace are meeting at 8 tonight in 
the gym at St. Matthew's Collegiate. Topics for the session include, 
The Ethical Dilemma of Family Doping, The Six Recognized Tactics for 
Leaving the Kids at Your Sister's, and the Best Local Routes for a 
Long Drive to Nowhere and Back. Avalon Mothers for a Moment's Peace: 
for the love of God, will you all shut up.

The Academy of the Pinguid Arts, 342 Gommer Drive presents a Master 
Class with Gid Stockley, current Orange Sash of the Newfoundland Deep 
Fat Fryer's League. Gid will take qualified applicants--that's at 
least DFF Level 6--through the preparation of the deep fried breakfast, 
using the full depth of the fryer to cook multiple dishes at once. 
How the pros handle those tricky kippers, egg sculpting in hot oil 
and the surprising elegance of a properly fried porridge. That's at 
the Academy of Pinguid Arts, starting at 7 tomorrow morning.

And with 50 years of Confederation comes a day of reckoning. The 
Newfoundland Department of Finance points out that April 1st will 
be your last opportunity to convert the Newfoundland dollar, or "Dog" 
to the Canadian dollar, or "Loon". The Dog will not be honoured by 
chartered banks beyond this date.