DOUG:	THE BCN THING

THEME

CLIPS

WACKA-WACKA

PAUL:	Tous les mondes, everybody, grab your knife and fork and follow me !

	Today, we journey to the Crossroads of the World, Gander, Newfoundland !  
	Airport town to the earth's citizens, and home of a singing sylist who's 
	been doing it his way his whole life.

	All this for you, with me, on The Great Eastern, Nfld.'s Cultural Magazine !

SFX	THEME OUT

	Gander, linch-pin of the Allied overseas effort during the Second World War;  
	vital re-fuelling station for virtually every trans-atlantic flight in the first 
	70 years of intercontinental air travel (less now though lately);  Nfld's gateway 
	to the world - and if you've ever stopped over there, you know the voice of 
	Roger Greeley, internationally celebrated as Gander's Man of Song !

PN:	11:00 AM , Room  221 of The Jetstream Hotel, Gander, Newfoundland.

SFX:	CLOCK RADIO COMES ON BCN GANDER

ANNOUNCER:	…frost warning in low-lying areas.

	Now for the News from Central.  

	There is a leak in Benton.  At least that's what Mayor Max Peddle claims.  
	The seepage under the highway at Kipplers Brook appears to be sewage coming 
	from the community cess pit.  Mayor Peddle is demanding the Department of 
	Municipal Affairs come through with promised monies to repair the aged 
	system or he will take his own life during next summer's Gander Day Celebrations.

SFX:	ROGER GETTING UP, DROPPING ALKASELTZER IN GLASS, DRINKING, GOES TO TOILET, 
GRUNTS WITH AGONY AS LITTLE DRIBBLE OF URINE HITS WATER, COUGHS, COUGHS SOME MORE, HORKS UP AS SAUSAGE …

ROGER:	Meee, meee, meee, ahhhhh, ahhhhh, la la la (coughs)

PN:	So begins this day in the life of Roger Greeley.  This is an audio portrait of 
	Gander's Man of Song.  At The Crossroads.

ROGER:	(into phone) Yeah gimme the kitchen … (to Paul) This is the first thing I 
	do every morning: call the kitchen, find out what's on the lunch buffet so I 
	can work out my repetoire … (back to phone) Yeah, this is Roger.  What?  
	Roger Greeley.  Gree…Ley.  Yeah.  The guy that sings during the buffet!  Right.  
	So what's on today.  Chinese! Fantastic.  See you at noon.  What? (he hangs up) 
	That guy Paul, is what we call in the show business "an arsehole"

PAUL:	Your repetoire …you've been called, I know, "The Man of a Hundred Songs"… these are all in your head?

ROGER:	Pretty much, although I keep some of the rhythm tracks on the trusty old Casio 220.  Let's see …

SFX:	ROGER TURNS ON A SAMBA RHYTHM AND THEN LAYS DOWN A FEW "ORIENTAL" ORNAMENTS

ROGER:	What do you think, sort of a genre crossover hey, east meets west.  Don't like it, hey? No? Oh wait I got it.

SFX:	ROGER PICKS OUT A BIT OF "SUKIYAKI"

ROGER:	Ping ching chong, oooh sue-ey …Oh ay ching chong …

PAUL:	Rog, Rog … Sukiyaki?

ROGER:	Ah so.

PAUL:	That's Japanese, Rog.

ROGER:	Japanese, Chinese, what's the diff, it's an … oriental buffet!

PAUL:	They have Japanese food?

ROGER:	Wait!  I've got it.  

SFX:	PLAYS A LITTLE OF KUNG-FU FIGHTING

ROGER:	Hey? Hey?

PAUL:	That is familiar, what …

SFX:	DOOR OPENS, VACUUM CLEANERS ADVANCE, GENERAL COMMOTION

ROGER:	The girls got to clean the room, Paul.

PAUL:	Right …

P.N.:	Roger Greeley has been a fixture in Newfoundland Entertainment for 
	three decades.  But for a brief stint in the United States in the Seventies, 
	he has made this Island Dominion his home, and stage, since	the 1950's.  
	He will not divulge his birthdate, but it is known that he was born Robert 
	Greeley in Stevenville Crossing.

SFX:	WALKING HOTEL HALLWAYS TO KITCHEN

ROG:	Roger is much snappier than Robert.  Bob or Bobbie's not bad but then 
	Bobby Darin was doing the same book so … no, down this way.

PAUL:	Look at that … a … utility hall, fascinating.

P.N.:	Roger Greeley gave up the road in 1989 after contracting a fungal 
	infection.  He is now "The House Guy" at the legendary Jetstream Hotel.

ROGER:	An artist matures, logs the mileage, and only then is rewarded with a 
	gig like this. I enjoy the stability.

PAUL:	How does the money compare to the road?

ROGER:	Here I play for the room and un-utilized food service items, the cream 
	is in the tips.  This lunch buffet isn't great, but the night gig at the 
	Steak House!  Let me say it is veeeerrry classy.  An act like me,  well 
	let me say, it keeps me in dry-cleaning money. 

P.N.:	Before the Lunch Buffet, Roger goes over the set list with his newest 
	occumpanist,  Phil Rousell.

ROGER:	Jesus Christ, you were changing keys so much I thought I was singing 
	with fucking Sybil!  

PHIL:	It's a Jazz thing.

ROGER:	A jazz thing!  Let me tell you something about Jazz!  Are you familiar 
	with Moe Kaufman!  Do you know MOE!  A jazz thing!  How old are you?

PHIL:	I'm 32.  How old are you.

ROGER:	I'm forty-fuck-you.  As I said we start with All You Can Eat …

P.N.:	Roger's first engagement  every weekday at noon, is to play musical 
	host at the Jetstream's lunch buffet.

SFX:	ELECTRONIC PIANO INTRO LEADING INTO AND UNDER ROGER'S PATTER

ROG:	Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman, and a special "Hows  she goin 
	by'" to (checks slip of paper) any denturists who are with us.

SFX:	SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE 

ROG:	Thank you, thank you.  Welcome to The Wings and Things Lounge of the 
	beautiful Jetstream Hotel, in downtown Gander.  I'm your host for the buffet, 
	Rooooger Greeley.  I hope you good folks brought an appetite because it's 
	(sings beginning of "All You Can Eat" …

PN:	Roger Greeley, showman, host, maitre d'chanson …

SFX:	BACK TO ROGER'S ACT.  ROGER'S ACT ENDS WITH HIGH-KICK NUT DAMAGE

ROG:	Take it, Phil, I'll be back folks.

SFX:	CROSS TO KITCHEN

PAUL:	What is it, Roger?

ROG:	Damn high kick, got the inseam stitching across The old Steve and Edie's.

PAUL:	Hmm?

ROG:	Downstairs, in the lower register.

PAUL:	You're not ruined, are you ?

SFX:	BELT UNBUCKLED

ROG:	Just … just … awww, that's brutal.  Whoaaaaaaah the show must go on.

SFX:	KITCHEN DOOR OPENED. ROGER IN BACK GROUND SINGING TO ROOM, OCTAVE HIGHER

P.N.:	Yes, the show must go on...

PN:		Immediately following the lunch gig, Roger is rushing to his next engagement.

SFX:	LOUD POST LUNCH CHIT-CHAT IN DINING ROOM, NO ONE IS PAYING ROGER ANY ATTENTION

ROGER:	Thank You, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much, thanks for coming, 
	come again tomorrow, thank you so very much …

SFX:	ROGER TO KITCHEN

ROG:	Denturists!  Always a lousy house. 

PHIL:	Excuse me, Rog.

ROG:	(very smarmy) No, no, no excuse ME, I seem to have stepped in front of your 
	INTERMINABLE SOLO!  Whose name is on that marquee out there Phil, does it say 
	Rousell up there any where.

PHIL:	Actually it says "Welcome Demturpists".

ROG:	We'll talk about this later, we got to get to rink …

SFX:	CROSS TO EXTERIOR PARKING LOT

ROG:	I asked them to have a car waiting, Paul, I don't know what happened.  
	Come on, we'll have to hoof it.  I know a shortcut. 

PHIL:	Jaysus.

SFX:	CROSS TO PAUL, PHIL AND ROG SCRAMBLING THROUGH WOODS

PAUL:	This is …

ROG:	I'll confess something to you Paul, I once spent a couple of nights up here.

PAUL:	Why?

ROG:	I was … I was messed up on drugs.

PAUL:	An oft told story in the music biz. Ugly?

ROG:	Sudafed and  you know … heavy into the Neo-Citran and parked at the bar … 
	look some kids have stashed some empty beer bottles up here … must be twenty, 
	thirty dollars worth … come on … Hey PHIL!  Get a move on!

PHIL:	(in distance) Go Fuck yourself.

SFX:	Interior Gander Gardens.  Roger checks microphone and p.a.

ROG:	Check, check.   Hello Gander (sings to Ode) "When Sunday's clown is finding 
	thrills …" Hey Phil you with me here?

SFX:	Monster chord on organ, shakes building.

P.N.:	The songster's civic duty, belting out an anthem before the big game.  
	Tonight Roger is scheduled to perform the Ode To Newfoundland and Oh Canada before 
	The Gander Flyers tangle with The Badger Drivers. 

ROG:	So Phil if we could just start with The Ode and then to a sort of Jimmy 
	Smith kind of vamp thing.

SFX:	Phil plays Ode into Jimmy Smith.  

ROG:	Yeah, yeah that's great Phil, I'll start with some of The Ode ….

SFX:	Rog improv's around The Ode.

PAUL:	Excuse me.  EXCUSE ME ROG!

SFX:	Phil continues to noodle, perhaps getting a little carried away.

ROG:	What?

PAUL:	Aren't you taking liberties with The Ode?

ROG:	Paul I'm a jazz singer, an improvisational artist and improv is 
	six-sevenths of improve.

PAUL:	What?

ROG:	PHIL!  Knock it off for a second will you.

MAN:	(from across rink) Roger!  Roger!

ROG:	Oh hi.  Listen could we talk about my backstage arrangements.

MAN:	(now next to Rog) What are you suggesting?

ROG:	No, no, like green room stuff, I have a list; diet Sprite, some 
	fresh fruit, no bananas …

MAN:	Gee Roger, didn't Debbie call.  We've had to cancel, turns out Mr. T 
	has had a lay-over and we managed to get him to sing the Ode.

ROG:	What like THE Mr. T.?

MAN:	Yes, sorry we should have …

ROG:	No, no, no … I mean Mr. T. you're talking the A-Team.  Do you think 
	I .. could meet him?

MAN:	No that won't be possible.

ROG:	Sure.  Now when will you guys want me back.

MAN:	I'll have to look into that.

ROG:	Sure. 

P.N.:	3:00 PM and one usually finds Roger napping.  Refueling for his long 
	flight into that night, the red-eye to entertainment but today is different, 
	today Roger Greeley, Gander's Man of Song is being honored by the Central 
	Newfoundland Knight's Templar.  Today Roger Greeley is being inducted into 
	the Gander Mall of Fame.

SFX:	Mall, small crowd.

VOX:	Thanks for coming out everybody.  The Knights Templar, Lodge 12, Central 
	Newfoundland is proud to induce … oh sorry induct is the word I guess … to 
	induct two great Newfoundlanders into the Gander Mall of Fame.  Known to the 
	people of the central region as "Pudds" Alf Blunden is being honoured for his 
	generosity, for giving of himself, for this year, giving blood for the 100th time.  
	Ladies and Gentlemen, Pudds Blunden …

SFX:	applause, Pudds speaks off.

PAUL:	(whispering) Nervous, Roger?

ROG:	(whispering) It's big honour, it's fabulous to be recognized by the people.  
	I've received other awards but this one is …

PAUL:	Oh, what other awards?

ROG:	Oh … I don't think it would be … I don't want to blow my own horn …

PAUL:	No just for background.

ROG:	Shhhh, they're coming to me …

VOX:	…A fixture in the community, reminding everyone that dogged determination, 
	the will to soldier on in the face of often whithering criticism, the ability 
	to accept … yes to accept, or accomodate … what? … reality I guess.  Ladies 
	and Gentlemen, Gander's Man of Song, Roger Greeley.

ROG:	This is so … (gets choked) … meaningful … I will always cherish this 
	commemorative spoon … and of course … (gets worse) … boy this is hard for me … 
	naturally I'd like the express my gratitude to the Fraser Mall, to The Grand 
	Vizier of The Knights Templar, to the people of Gander, even those just 
	passing through who have … who have … (weeping) I … can't … thanks everybody.

SFX:	Crosses from applause to lounge ambience.

ROG:	I wouldn't want people to get the impression that I drink in the afternoons, 
	but that was a very emotional moment for me back there.

PAUL:	I could see.

ROG:	Let me buy you a Greeley.

PAUL:	A Greeley?

ROG:	Little cocktail name in my honour.  A double crθme de menthe and sprite. 
	I find the de menthe of the creme and the crisp effervesence of the sprite 
	combine to ventilate the old pipes.

PAUL:	I can see that.

ROG:	I'm working with a sensitive instrument here, I don't smoke, 
	try never to yell, 

P.N:	Legendary band leader Vincenzo "Viscount"  Zeppetelli  worked with Roger 
	Greeley in the early eighties.

SFX:	BIG BAND SETTING UP 

VIN:	We were flying to Europe for this tour and my singer at the time, Huge Olson, 
	he had what we took to be … gas.  But it turned out to be a brain aneurysm.  
	We put down in Gander and picked up Rog.

PAUL:	You knew his work.

VIN:	Not then, no.  It was more an emergency thing.

PAUL:	How long was he with your band?

VIN:	That summer?  Let me see … June … early part … maybe the better part of … 
	of a gig, at least two sets.  In Coppenhagen, I think.

PAUL:	Roger says you parted over differences about repertoire.

VIN:	No, that wasn't it.

PAUL:	Roger's been called …

VIN:	(cutting him off) I'm not going to get into that.  And regardless of his … 
	singing … at the time I let him go, the issue was "his act", specifically some "moves".

PAUL:	The conga line bit.

VIN:	He's not still doing that is he?

SFX:	Cross to Roger in another ambience.

ROG:	That was … I think … the greatest experience of my life, actually singing with 
	Viscount Zeppetelli's Big Band.  I have a … cherished memory … I ended our first set 
	at the Borst Knep Pal-ASS … with "Everytime I Say Good-bye", and The Viscount himself 
	came up to me, with tears in his, and said "You cannot ever sing that song again, 
	or I will die."  And I never have.