MUSIC:	

Self-obsession was the watchword when this winter's North 
Atlantic collection hit the runways of the Hotel Palmer Hotel.  
Backstage --blah blah, ha ha -- the usual crush of imbeciles 
and bimbos parotted the latest cliches for the peeping paparrazi.  
[SFX:  zoom and click]  This year designers came up with a bold 
new message that struck the vapid mavens of couture like lightning:  
girls just wanna have fun!

MUSIC:	Spice Girls.

It was all girrrrrl power at the Sacco and Vanzetti show.  The 
latest bad boys of fashion unveiled a collection that combined 
infantile self-indulgence with a mature anorexic narcissism.   
Synthetically sumptuous supermodels with pig-tails and lollypops 
hopscotched down the catwalk in cheeky -- and I mean cheeky -- 
outfits straight from the pre-teen section of the 1978 Zellers 
catalogue.  Is this just what the fashion doctor ordered for the 
girl-woman of the new millenium ?  Say ahhhhh ...some.

SFX:	BACKSTAGE B.G.

VOGUE:	It's like, awesome, that girls can just be like girls again ?  
Like totally without even thinking about it?  just take take take with 
like noooooo guilt ?
LARRY:	How ultra!
VOGUE:	I don't know what I'm telling you this for.  You're nobody.
LARRY:	My god, you are perfect!

MUSIC.

It's not every day that a girl's hair is taller than she is.  The new 
Edouard Carpentier collection featured outlandish hair sculptures that 
had the high-priced talent waxing incoherently about freedom of female 
expression.

LARRY:	There's an incredible buzz about your hairstyle.  What's it called ?
MODEL:	It's an elongated bee-hive.
LARRY:	A cee-hive!
MODEL:	They wrapped my hair around a tree trunk -- there's an actual 
	beehive in it.
LARRY:	So you're a real honey blonde.
MODEL:	(pause) I don't get it…

CUT TO:

LARRY:	Edouard, these hair sculptures look quite cumbersome, yet you 
	say they're liberating - why ?
CARPENTIER:	It's the opposite of Rapunzel .  Now the man is in the tower, 
	trapped, so he shouts, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel stick up your hair ! "
LARRY:	So, the man climbs down the hair instead of up?
CARPENTIER:	Right, it's an inversion.
LARRY:	But, I mean, the man's still climbing the woman's hair.
CARPENTIER:	Could you excuse me, I've got a splitting headache.
LARRY:	Edouard ... thank you!

MUSIC OUT:	"Everybody's wonderful, everybody's beautiful", looped.  
	CD 10307, Pure Sugar, cut 11.

LARRY:	For The Great Eastern, I'm Lawrence Royce-Hiscock in St. John's.