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Season 4: 1997-98

Show # Airdate Files Text
1 Sept. 6, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
Wordworks
Happy Tightwad
Blaine Hart
Programming Highlights
Closing the Cabin
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Season four begins, as usual, with apologies and clarifications, including the surreal line that Perrin Beatty is not “a Jesuit appliance under the remote control of an alternate, second papacy”. Wordworks reviews Some Good Tale, the sexual tell-all from local starlet Veronica: “PAUL: She was throwing heat, with a lot of movement on it ... all I heard was the sound of the ball in the glove....” Another good session with computer guy Blaine Hart (“You’ve got all your work on a single document!”) and a brilliant piece on closing up the cabin, with the de rigueur Guy Shouting At Paul From a Distance (“Stop hounding me...”). Plus the Happy Tightwad (“Ever hear of a lubricated instrument?”) and Programming Highlights (“It’s a godless future for the Children of Newfoundland.”)
Show # Airdate Files Text
2 Sept. 13, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
The Vault
What’s That Noise?
Community Announcements
Political Panel
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: The Vault explores wartime psy-ops broadcast from Newfoundland: “The antenna stood a precarious three hundred feet, with six big, four hundred cubic yard Tucker-Royce tubes behind it all powered with a sixty thousand watt Raytheon battery ... Birds flying in front of the broadcast would drop from the sky fully cooked.” A tour of the Sailor’s Tobacco plant; John Crosbie admires Ariel Flint’s ass in the Political Panel and Paul shares his advice with Mick Jagger.
Show # Airdate Files Text
3 Sept. 20, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Paul’s Pot Promo
What’s That Noise?
Bulletin - Death of Sir Freeman Crotty
Paulitorial
Outro
Minute of Silence
Notes: Paul is fleeced yet again at the antiques dealer; the launch of Stuff Magazine (“Our design guy...is from the remote layout school...”) is interrupted by the death of Sir Freeman Alderdice Crotty, Commissioner of Broadcasting (“His informal policy of non-involvement was widely praised”). Paul’s Pot profiles Australian cheese (“From tangy Tarago River Blue Moo Chunks to a Ripe Old Brown Finger its one taste sensation after another”), and Fashion Report views the North Atlantic Collection (“I’m only using dead girls now...”). Ed Riche is Stuff editor Sam Hayward; Steve Palmer is Paul Benoit and Lawrence Royce-Hiscock.
Show # Airdate Files Text
4 Sept. 27, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
Crotty
Uncle Jack Promo
What’s That Noise?
Political Panel
Outro
Notes: Brilliant work on the death of Sir Freeman Crotty: Paul’s observation of the members of the Conkerbell Lodge entering the wake is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Part Sufi transcendence, part Dr. Suess: “Their conkerbells mute in honour of Sir Freeman, the masked choir and band is now circling the remains, swirling their burbling censers, showering Sir Freeman with petals. Dancing, swaying municipal workers, the bladders of their crampwoozers pumping in their arms, the incense thicker still, the ceiling opening up, vast blinding ribbons of revelation spill through!” Plus, Wordworks on a pomo mystery, Uncle Jack, intrigue on the office of Commissioner of Broadcasting and a Political Panel on Canadian unity: (“ARIEL: What would you have offered Quebec? JR: Me? A case of Pepsi and a dime of hash.”) Steve Palmer is Ari Uldmanis and Dr. John Lake.
Show # Airdate Files Text
5 Oct. 5, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
Vault
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Outro
Traffic Alert
Notes: The Newfoundland Beat Poets are heard in the Vault, in 1956 tape from Dirk Pilgrim (Ed Riche). Paul hears his book has been banned from school shelves (“Parents complained that you were a poor role model...”) And Paul visits the Big Lad Brewery, formerly a microbrewery (“Look at those tiny gauges...”) now North America’s first Macrobrewery, with a line of Huge Brews: Pilsner Long, Extra Stout and Big Lad Cream Ale (“The old smoothie with the big head.”) Listen for the beer commercial at the end of that piece....
Show # Airdate Files Text
6 Oct. 11, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
What’s That Noise? Programming Highlights
Outro
Notes: Yes, it’s a clip show, but it’s a good clip show. Erling hosts a review of the Moth “canon” while Paul is on the road to accept a citation for his arts coverage and his work in “audio diaretics” Included is the olfactory art and Hugh Kuva pieces from season one, and the Philip Dean interview from season two. Erling sums up Paul’s own artistic career thusly: “Paul Moth is a failed artist in the true sense. Not one who failed to become an artist, but one who became an important artist, making significant contributions to the Mexican cinema, and then failing in the larger arena of acceptable human conduct....” Jamie Fitzpatrick is Erling Biggs.
Show # Airdate Files Text
7 Oct. 18, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Complete Script
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Here it is: the famous moose-hunting journal, in all it’s rum-soaked glory. Thankfully, the script is nearly complete, so you can check Paul’s extensive gun collection (“FAR:You must have had a lot of aggression. PAUL: You don’t know the half of it.”) and the ancient rum collection at Ron Gellately’s cabin (“Young Sam, Lieutenant Morgan.”) An all-time classic episode. Frank Holden is Ger Caddigan, Ed Riche is Bill Murphy and Rick Boland is Farley Monk.
Show # Airdate Files Text
8 Oct. 25, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
The Vault
Townbeat
What’s That Noise?
BCN Programming Highlights
Humanity Testing
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Paul’s 1963 spelling triumph is recalled in The Vault when he won the World Spelling Bee in Birmingham, England. Great football-style announcing: “ROGER: Only spellers of incredible calibre ever take a match this far. I’m reminded of Stumpy Thompson and Alastair MacTavish, the cunning Scot in 42.” Young Paul is played by my then ten-year old son Nicholas McGee. Another highlight is the devastatingly funny attack on anti-seal hunt celebrities: “Who can say why these leather clad, foie gras munching, eight cylinder arseholes prove such easy marks? Is it, in the end, because actors are often very stupid?” Paul visits a new IFAW facility set up to employ displaced seal hunters, in which consumer products are tested on celebrity volunteers. Listen for William Shatner’s screaming. Best quote: “Oh they’re about to boil Geoff Pevere in a bag, would you like to watch?” Jim Brown is Fraser Monchy.
Show # Airdate Files Text
9 Nov. 1, 1997 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
Classical Comedy
Psychic
What’s That Noise?
Pomo the Sailorman
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: This week, the lamentable “Guy Gap” in St. John’s is explored with Geraldine Cumby. (“The last line I heard from a guy in a bar was ‘I’m really sweaty.’”) Paul visits psychic Miss Betty, where his abduction by aliens and flatlining in L.A. are revisited (“BETTY: No, it’s a desert ... or a prairie... beams of light ... an airship... and ... there are strangers examining you with devices...”) And there’s a visit with tattoo artist Pomo the Sailorman, which sets up the Name Paul’s Tattoo contest. Also: Classical Comedy and Interred (“Past your best before date? Then plan your obsolescence.”)
Show # Airdate Files Text
10 Nov. 8, 1997 MP3 [6.5 MB] Roll
Complete Script
Uncle Jack Promo
Bombs Away Promo
Notes: The 1997 Listeners’ Letters Show, co-hosted by Erling Biggs. A hilarious clip from the full-length Great Eastern (“Get outta that canoe over there, you’re gonna catch the place on fire...”); Paul’s adherence to submonoism; wave-warping and tunnel jumping; and an excerpt from “¡Vamose Pepito Vamose!”, with Paul translating. Jamie Fitzpatrick is Erling Biggs, and the dulcet (and fluent Spanish) tones of Steve Palmer can be heard as the villain in “Pepito” and singing the theme song.
Show # Airdate Files Text
11 Nov. 15, 1997 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Script
Notes: Prelude to Oougubomba. A review of Harlan O’Reardigan’s Up The Bomba on Wordworks. The Carry On Gang and the late Arch Pilgrim from Oougubomba in The Vault. Plus Paul gets his shots and zinc-lined underwear for the trip. “I’m never without a couple of cyanide capsules. The doubt, the continual questioning of one’s existence, that comes when you have these tablets aboard ... you take pleasure in the small things.” The Paulitorial aboard MV Moira is brilliant radio.
Show # Airdate Files Text
12 Nov. 22, 1997 MP3 [10.2MB] Intro
Complete Script
Paulitorial
Notes: Drucie Maher hosts this rebroadcast of the great Economology episode from 1996, as Paul is missing in Oougubomba. A new, brief, postscript on Economology is added at the end.
Show # Airdate Files Text
13 Nov. 29, 1997 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Oougubomba - Part 1
Notes: Oougubomba, Part 1. Paul arrives by tramp steamer at the great tidal ream of the River Bomba, and enters the capital of the former Newfoundland colony of Oougubomba, Beepbobalula. He meets Radio Bomba station manager Frank Yeboah Johnson, and beloved despot-for-life Dr. Dr. Raymond “Big Teach” Yasaidityouwho. His “mission” is explained: travel upriver and terminate the broadcasts of rebel radio leader Larry Murphakola. “Bebop...still only in Bebop...” Andy Jones is Dr. Dr. Raymond “Big Teach” Yasaidityouwho, Steve Palmer is Frank Yeboah Johnson.
Show # Airdate Files Text
14 Dec. 6, 1997 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Oougubomba - Part 2
Notes: Oougubomba, Part 2. On the river with Skipper Ray Bayloo...at the Betelnut Plantation with white settler Harris-Botha...a rebel attack...a meeting with Larry Murphakola. It’s Apocalypse Paul...“PAUL: Who’s the Director of Radio at this Station? VOX: Ain’t you?” Ed Riche is Skipper Ray Bayloo.
Show # Airdate Files Text
15 Dec. 13, 1997    
Notes: No show this week.
Show # Airdate Files Text
16 Dec. 20, 1997 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Intro
Stockings
Pepito
Guerilla Theatre
Christmas Feast
Last Word
Notes: Great Christmas tales from Paul in this holiday disk-spin show. Paul’s early introduction to the seductive world of stockings; down and out in Guadalajara with Pepito El Grande; the origin of the The November 3rd Revolutionary Council of Anti-theatrics and memories of Uncle Giscard Malheureusemont, chef. The Pepito piece manages to be both moving and hilarious: “I looked to the torn mattress in the corner and saw through my tears that he’d killed a rat and placed it delicately on the bed.” Really, someone should film this piece....
Show # Airdate Files Text
17 Dec. 27, 1997    
Notes: Rebroadcast: Carlos, Duke of Portugal. Show and script available in season 3.
Show # Airdate Files Text
18 Jan. 3, 1998 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
God’s Punishment
New Year’s 1989
Back at Mom’s
Notes: More holiday tales from Paul. An incident in Dad’s Hillman at 13; bridge with Deng; the encounter with El Quinto Caballero and back home, clean and sober in 1992. Paul’s long bridge partnership with Deng Xiaoping in the early 70’s is recalled. (Pity there’s no script - you’ll have to listen!). The New Year’s bash of 1989 is also a hoot (“I missed all of 1990 and 1991, waking up finally in October, 1992, in a Belgrade apartment with some Finnish money....”)
Show # Airdate Files Text
19 Jan. 10, 1998 MP3 [9.5 MB] Roll
Intro
Wordworks
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Back to normal programming after the Christmas season, we start with Wordworks, reviewing The Cabal Labyrinth: The Masterplan Behind The Conspiracy to Control Your Mind by Enos Critch (“KATH:You believe that Microwave Ovens are actually listening devices .... PAUL: Scanners. Yes. KATH: That Exxon had agents working in pre-history who were responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. PAUL: That’s well known.”) and The Great Canadian Bachelor Cookbook including Paul’s contribution: Stuffed Snout. Also: Paul catches up on the latest trends with Lawrence Royce-Hiscock and Geraldine Cumby (Larry on the latest fashion: “Three words: Gaucho! Gaucho! Gaucho!”) Alas, no script for this, nor for the political panel, which features Carl Johnson actually in the studio! The last minute of the tape is missing here, but the Outro text is available, if that’s any consolation....
Show # Airdate Files Text
20 Jan. 17, 1998 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Intro
Year 2000 Problem
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Notes: Paul in Paris. Down the Montmartre steps the hard way, a close encounter with the guillotine, and a visit with Pierre La Roi, Camafleur. Plus Iceland Report, the Year 2000 Problem, a “Newfie” controversy, and Paul’s re-entry into the dating scene: “I remember when a coke, a smoke, and a puff bar would win you at least a little tongue.” Andy Jones is the Camafleur, and cartoonist Denny Porter. Jim Brown is Grant Young.
Show # Airdate Files Text
21 Jan. 24, 1998 MP3 [10.2MB] Roll
Intro
Bonhomme
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Plenty of amusement in this show. Paul visits Cameron Pardy (PoMo the Sailor Man) to have the tattoo promised in episode 9 executed, only to have a hungover Cameron misspell “Things to Do”. No script, but we honoured this piece with a page at the time.... Also, Paul interviews Bonhomme Carnivale, springing on him a surprise reunion with estranged brothers Michelin Man and The Pillsbury Dough Boy. (“Come home dough boy...come home.” It’s a silly piece, but fun. Also up, the Guy Gap, revisited from the guy’s perspective, the guys being Paul’s cronies Bill Murphy and Ger Caddigan. (“Get up in the morning? Sure I’m still drunk in the morning!”) This show also features one of my favourite quotes from the Paulitorials, on Marconi Award competition Harvey McCarthy: “I don’t mean to disparage my competition, but Harvey McCarthy is a moron, a gobshite and a mental invalid.” Andy Jones is Bonhomme Carnivale, Steve Palmer is the Michelin Man and Ed Riche is the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Show # Airdate Files Text
22 Jan. 31, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Complete Script
Notes: The Newfoundland Radio Awards, rebroadcast without changes from season three (Jan. 4, 1997). Links here go to the season three files.
Show # Airdate Files Text
23 Feb. 7, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
Party Line
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: Some of my favourite quotes emerged from this episode. We begin with an open mike in the BCN Master Control Room (PAUL: “What is it with Budge, eh?” TECH: “Budge Doyle is a knob, Paul.”). In The Vault, Ish denies plans for a Universal Public Broadcaster and plays tape from the 50’s of radio hosts speaking Electrosprach, the proposed universal language (IVAN: “Maria bello this morgen.” MARIA: “Ivan bello this morgen.” BOTH: “Ha ha ha...”). Then there’s the Party Line promo (CALLER 2: “I seen him leave the motel with a wheel of cheese and an axle jack.” BUDGE: “Thanks for calling. Line two, you’re next.”) Plus, Paul interviews the architect of the new Osborne Art Gallery, constructed on the St. John’s landfill and made completely out of garbage (“In the end you can’t match the quality of Tuscan garbage.”), and a Political Panel (J. RICHARD: “If Canada is going to be a serious player in the enslavement of the developing world, we need to have an institution with international muscle.”) Finally, in the Paulitorial, Paul address whoever it was who burgled and soiled his office: “Come on. Send back the manual. Send back the pez juicer. What foul use have you of them?” Precious little script has survived, unfortunately.
Show # Airdate Files Text
24 Feb. 14, 1998 MP3 [6.5 MB] Roll
Complete Script
Notes: The “Love Blister” episode, wherein Paul goes on a rock ‘n roll road trip, and finds love. Great Paul back story: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I am the Walrus.” Liz Pickard is Marie, Steve Palmer is Barry, Ed Riche is Hugo, Bryan Hennessey is Lionel. “Love Blister” music is performed by the Liz Band, with Liz Pickard.
Show # Airdate Files Text
25 Feb. 21, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
What’s That Noise?
Paulitorial
Outro
Paulitorial v2
Notes: Newfoundland Luge maker Max Monchy is profiled. Paul tours the new Osborne Art Gallery, seeing, among other things, the famous painting from the Newfoundland Socialist Realism School, Joseph Smallwood Leads the People of Newfoundland Into Confederation: “A heavily built Smallwood front and centre, his shirt opened to expose a tightly muscled frame and the people of the island depicted as children.” Also, a quick peek at the “vegetative form of performance artist Ned Brocklehurst”, whom we have met before. Also, and interview with economist Dr. Markus Vendel, who posits that capitalism is “a virus”. Bonus text: an early version of the Paulitorial that references Saddam Hussein.
Show # Airdate Files Text
26 Feb. 28, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Intro
What's That Noise?
Community Announcements
Notes: A rebroadcast of the famous ice fishing episode from Feb. 22, 1997. Scripts and details are on the Season Three page. This broadcast is packaged slightly differently, with a new Intro and Community Announcements, and the current What’s That Noise? contest. The audio quality on this file is a little better too.
Show # Airdate Files Text
27 March 7, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Notes: The Storm Episode. A fierce winter blast shuts down the city; only Paul and Hollis are at the station. Paul got there with Erling in the BCN Bombadier Badger. Great bits, including Paul imagining an interview with Salman Rushdie, who could not get in because of weather. Paul goes it alone in The Vault, finding some gems: “The Great Eastern, October 3rd, 1950. Special guests: Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope and Rita Hayworth. They say it was the greatest Great Eastern ever.” We hear some splendid Elmer Collins, Ham Operator before Ish puts an end to it. Great fun. And, as usual, Paul has a close brush with death, this time out in the storm on the BCN roof. Alas, no scripts were found for this show.
Show # Airdate Files Text
28 March 14, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
What's That Noise?
Notes: Health Care on the Ropes. Paul’s Health Care Diary, recorded at St. Finian’s Hospital while attempting to cure a dull bass pounding in the ear. Paul sees the multi-tier health care system up close. A sleepy intern thinks he’s a Mrs. Murphy. He recieves an MIG scan (“It’s a Soviet Scanner”). A hilarious bit when they try to put Paul to sleep for surgery: “DOCTOR: This is Hexogarbonzobean. It’ll put you to sleep. PAUL: Sixty mils. I used to take that much just to get out of bed in the morning...Is that Sandoz or Burroughs-Wellcome?” Lots to listen for in this show. Some of the hospital PA announcements: “Dr. Zhivago to Respirology,” “Dr. Kildare to Hematology.” And Paul opening the Alternative Medicine door: “Hare hare, hare krishna...”.
Show # Airdate Files Text
29 March 21, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
What’s That Noise?
Noctural Emissions
Paulitorial
Outro
Notes: The Vault looks at the mid-50’s maiden flight of the Drodge Flying Hotel, the sumptuous wooden 12-prop behemoth which ditched mid-Atlantic with a full load of celebrities, who turned to cannibalism as the plane drifted helpless. “The image of all those celebrities and high flyers turning on one another in a primitive frenzy, driven mad with hunger...there were speculative drawings of the incident in the Island Illustrated News.” J. Richard breaks down on the Political Panel. The anti-seal hunters come clean on their plan: clear out the island: “Let’s face it - a human population has never really been sustainable on Newfoundland.”
Show # Airdate Files Text
30 March 28, 1998 MP3 [10.2 MB] Roll
Intro
What's That Noise?
Paulitorial
Notes: The final show of the season. Kathleen Hanrahan is newly-released from the Prison for Women and Wordworks is back with Great Russian humour: (“It was through his gambling that my uncle lost his family savings, betting the dascha on the hopes of drawing to an inside straight...”) Paul gets the lowdown on the new digital music, comparing Whole Lotta Love on vinyl and CD. Erling prepares for his mandatory rotation on the Funks (“Every man must do his turn on the Funks.”) and Paul brings out his writings from his turn: “The Sixty-four Agonies; Three-thousand Itches.” And Paul and Morris Jesso investigate the Moth family tree in an ancient graveyard, off sanctified ground (“...and Rellie Moth...damned for eternity...”)