PAUL:	I welcome back to The Great Eastern our panel on political 
	culture.  With me in the studio are Ariel Flint, host of BCN's 
	acclaimed Show Trial, and, yes, in the flesh, Carl Jonson, 
	Valdmanis Professor of Political Economy at the University 
	of Newfoundland at St. John's.  Joining us by phone from his 
	suite at the Hotel Centrale, in Panama City, is pundit, 
	pollster and now fugitive swindler, J. Richard Candow.  Hello 
	all.

ARIEL & JR:	Hello.

PAUL:	First, I have to say it's good to have Carl back in St. John's.

CARL:	(over Ariel's mic) It's great to be home, I'd like ...

PAUL:	It seems we've got a little problem with your mic Carl, we 
	should have that cleared up momentarily.  How's Panama, 
	J. Richard?

JR:	Paul, I am not a fugitive, I am, in fact, vacationing in 
	Panama.

ARIEL:	You've absconded with the entire teacher's pension fund.

JR:	Big whooop!  The fund was so undercapitalized it wouldn't 
	have supported the retired teachers for any ...

PAUL:	You admit you took the money, Richard ? 

JR:	I was hoping to make the teacher's money work for them, 
	but once my fees were deducted ... well there wasn't a 
	whole lot left.

ARIEL:	That is a lie!  Everybody knows what's going on.  I will not be 
	a party to the charade.  Richard, Earl Vardy and Bern ...

PAUL:	Careful, now Ariel, these matters are currently under 
	investigation and our lawyers have cautioned us against ...

ARIEL:	I don't care.  Who's going to sue me, Earl Vardy?  Bernard 
	Ayres?  Or the sausages and blood puddings that now 
	represent them.

PAUL:	Ariel, please, that Messers Vardy and Ayres were turned 
	into sausage meat remains an unconfirmed rumour.

ARIEL:	Have you heard from your cronies lately, Richard?

JR:	No, but ...

ARIEL:	Paul, they were planning to use the teacher's pension fund 
	to underwrite their private healthcare scheme.  It was a done 
	deal until Richard spilled the beans.

JR:	I warn you Paul, if this unfounded attack on my good 
	character continues I'll name you in the lawsuit.

PAUL:	Right you are.  Next issue.

ARIEL:	Gutless wonder.

PAUL:	After a scathing royal commission report on the state of 
	learning in Newfoundland, the Provincial Government says it 
	will employ "whatever means necessary" to drag 
	Newfoundland's Education system into the 20th century.

ARIEL:	The sixth century would be an improvement.

PAUL:	Perhaps we could hear from Carl on this?

CARL:	(feedback) 

PAUL:	It seems we're still having technical problems with Carl's 
	mic. 

JR:	This reform is an ill-considered piece of lunacy.  Every 
	traditional value will soon be swept away.  I am proud of 
	Newfoundland's venerable education system.

ARIEL:	It's totally undemocratic!  The St. John's Templar School 
	Board still has a Grand Wizard, for god's sake!

JR:	Proudest moment of my life, when those entrails were read 
	by the holy bookmazer and I was pronounced Grand 
	Wizard.

PAUL:	What do you make of the Education Minister's use of the 
	term, "Whatever Means Necessary" ?

ARIEL:	I doubt they have the guts to storm the Church bunkers.

PAUL:	That's right.  The Churches have been stepping up 
	fortifications at the bunkers.

JR:	Routine upgrade of the defenses, and besides, you're 
	missing the point---

SFX:	BANGING NOISES OVER PHONE LINE.

JR:	Just a second Paul ....

SFX:	GERMAN AND SPANISH SHOUTS OVER PHONE 
FOLLOWED BY GUNSHOTS.

PAUL:	J. Richard?  J. Richard?

SFX:	DIAL TONE

PAUL:	Gee I wonder what ...

ARIEL:	No doubt a settling of accounts.  Either that or Richard fell 
	behind on his bribes and the Panamanians let Interpol have 
	him.

PAUL:	Well, we finally seem to have Carl's microphone working.

CARL:	Yes, the Interpol people have stated ...

SFX:	STUDIO DOOR OPENING FOLLOWED BY SEVERAL 
CRASHES

PAUL:	Hey ... you can't ...

SFX:	HAND PLACED OVER MIC.

ANNOUNCER:	One Moment Please.

SFX:	CLASSICAL MUSIC.

PAUL:	... what do ...

VOICE:	(off) Act normal.

PAUL:	Thanks to Ariel Flint, host of BCN's Show Trial and to 
	political economist Carl Jonson for joining me in the studio 
	today.  On the line from Panama City was J. Richard 
	Candow.  We'll see you all... ?

VOICE:	That's enough.