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March 31, 2006, 2005

“Here's a great shot of Donnelly doing the Hoanie...”

Dapper Roddy Donnelly doing the Hoanie

OK, so sometimes months go by before I add something to the GE web. Well, sheesh...waddya want? It's been off the air for seven years! However, I was cleaning out my filing cabinet recently and some precious documents tumbled out - original scripts from Townbeat!. Not just the shooting script, but early drafts, stuff cut from the final show, and more.

So much more. Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting complete scripts for five more Townbeat episodes that never got off the drawing board (writing board?). Suffice it to say there's some stunningly hilarious material.

This week, the shooting script for the pilot. (You can watch the pilot here.) There are two parts to this, because late in the game, CBC balked at the "Hardy Men" bit for the Book Club, so the writers substituted "Au Gratin". Also here is the original pilot script from much earlier. Sharp eyed fans will recognize Olfactory Artist Ulrika Wunderich (then appearing as Eckhart) from the very first Great Eastern episode.

And please let me draw your attention to pages 23-25 of the main shooting script. The Bass King promo is possibly the funniest bit of television comedy never actually committed to television:

BRENT HUMBY, the Bass King, clothed in angling gear
- a vest, twill hat, hip waders. His gear is plastered
with product endorsements. Brent speaks at a
lightning pace. He stands before a blue screen
featuring a frantic, dizzying montage of images related
to sports fishing. Powerboats cutting through the
water; large 4 X 4'S crushing foliage and climbing piles
of rocks; girls with big boobs; big idiots holding up
huge bass.

	Hi, I'm Brent Humby, the
	Bass King, reminding all
	anglers, or just any lover
	of the great wet outdoors,
	that it's time for the
	annual Bass King
	Cedardale Basin and
	County Reservoir Bass
	Derby and Monsignor
	Carver Memorial Fish Fry.

Fish taking bait; fish on the BBQ; drowned body in
swimming pool; drunk men firing guns into barrels;
crossing guard shot by cross-bow; fat guy hitting golf

And so on. Enjoy.

Further reading...

Townbeat Pilot Script [PDF 91K]
Pilot addendum [PDF 38K]
Early pilot draft [PDF 706K]