Complete GE episodes in MP3


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An archive of short selected clips

About the BCN

History, bios and more

Web Index

The whole Great Eastern Web


Music from Seasons 4 and 5

Sunny Days...

Paul goes to Cottage Country

Town Beat!

Paul tries regional cable

Bonus Material

Web-only goodies

"Someday Scooter, You'll be Dead Too..."

Audio Clips

While the show was still running, only a few audio clips were made available, which we keep here. Complete shows have since been added -- gp.

From GE April 24, 1999:

"Down, down, down..." An extraordinary pre-post-modern, multiple-recursion Vault, in which the listener goes down into the Vault, then down into the Vault again, and from there in to a Troll's Hole. Must be heard.

"Let's hope it put forever to rest the widely-held belief that you are a complete and utter fraud and charlatan." Paul interviews Professor Ian Trumbull on new discoveries at the Ferryland archaeological site.

"Budge...I seen 'im leave the hotel with a wheel of cheese and an axle jack..." Join Budge Doyle for the Party Line, right here on the BCN.

"I have not...and I will not forget you. Actually, I'm wearing something of yours now." Paul bids farewell to Canadian listeners.

"...this is station VONF..." The Great Eastern end of season sign-off, with a bonus from Purity Factories.

From GE April 17, 1999:

"We've gotten rid of the packing and gone straight to the prize. It's a show about bums and bombs going off..." Paul talks to Ambrose Sands, hotshot Newfoundland television producer responsible for such hits as Canada's Greatest Abuses of Police Power, and Ontario's Worst Dentists, profiting, as Paul says, "from the destruction of human imagination."

"Hey, they just completed the Great Mosque at Cordoba — Why so glum?" University of the Air tackles the Y1K problem.

"The island has not yet been circumnavigated...every person to attempt the journey has fallen victim to...distraction. Paul visits Up the Harbour — Down the Shore, an exhibition on Newfoundland exploration and settlement.

"Long distance love affairs require maintenance that, frankly, neither of us was up to." Paul explains what happened to the romance with CBC's Avril Benoit.

From GE April 10, 1999:

Paul's complete interview with Kirby Garland, winner of the Silver Shill award for marketing excellence for the second year in a row. Kirby's triumph was the talking soda pop bubble. Paul tries a Furlong's Lime Wizard: "No bye, getting nothing. Not getting a buzz at all. Are you tryin' to rip me off Kirby 'cause if you are...Sorry, old habits, ya know..."

"...and ravishing as usual. I can say that now what the advances made by Allie MacBeal and Annie Sprinkle, right?" "Yes, you can." "Just for my own purposes Ariel, could I refer to you as the Queen of Denmark?" "No, you can't". An especially tasty political panel, wherein Paul tests Ariel's patience, the BCN's presence on the CBC is explained, and Rex Murphy's hair is discussed:
AF: "Rex has set back Newfoundland hair decades..."
JRC: "The dufus do isn't helping his case..."

We haven't put nearly enough of Paul's monologues here on the web. This weeks--on his 50th birthday and the 50th anniversary of Confederation — is a particularly good one: "We are ever the butt of hoaxes, jokes and jibes, the cruelest being this so-called Confederation. Yes, we are a gentle people, given over to much-heralded revelry, poetic tendencies, and artful dodging. But you don't rile a standoffish cat. We know your weak spots. We are insuperable and unrelenting. And we will have our revenge. Once more into the breach dear friends, once more. Or close the wall up with our dead. The party is over. The sun is up. It's a new day."

From GE February 20, 1999:

"...the traditionally passive and cooperative Newfoundland working man has been moved to protest by the Bolshie agitations of Welshman Arthur 'Blackie' Thomas". A treat from the Vault. Carl Pilgrim reports on the '59 Coal Stoker's strike. The strike was crushed by Premier Smallwood with help from the Pinkertons.

From GE February 6, 1999:

"...and these are the kinds of things one wouldn't want to say on the public airwaves usually...here goes...". Ish interrupts Paul's great revelation to announce...the 3000th show celebration of the Great Eastern, not to mention the 100th episode on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

"Jane Fonda is there?"
"No it's a lookalike...a prostitute...There are Al Gore lookalikes, Bill Gates lookalikes..."
J. Richard Candow reports from the World Economic Forum, "...the high prestige geo-pol circle jerk held annually in ultra-pricey Davos, Switzerland."

"There's Bernard Ayres Beyond Good and Evil Group of Funds. But, uh...you've heard of ethical funds? These they ain't." Financial Advisor Owen Peddle gives Paul advice for RRSP season.

"I've never seen that wrestling hold before. Definitely from the Greco half of the book, eh?" "I said they were wrestlers. I didn't say they were wrestling...A lovely piece. The Macedonians were known for their fine rim work."
"Apparently so."
Paul gets a tour of the erotic sculpture from the collection of Sir Freeman Crotty.

From GE January 30, 1999:

Paul Interviews Nick Mustelet, television critic for the St. John's Daily Telegraph on the preponderance of Newfoundlanders and Newfoundland television programs on the national airwaves, to the detriment of information about Central Canada and the United States. There's a "...preoccupation with Newfoundland subject matter. You've got NFPD Blue, Southside Hills A1E 1A7, Beers, there's Baywatch, Ally McStreal, E- Har..."

"A brawny, fertile, Roman Catholic people, where families of 15 and 20 are not uncommon. The Roman Catholic race of lusty farmhands is bursting its territorial borders. Ron Gellately's Closeup on Confederation reveals a bias against our friends to the west. From the spring of 1948 In the Vault.

"It's futile minister...the door to show trial is locked...from the outside." "Please don't tell my wife!"
Host Ariel Flint goes for the jugular in Show Trial.

"It's completely unfair of those trying to close down the station to use me as some sort of negative example." Paul on threats to shut down Memorial University's campus radio station.

From GE January 23, 1999:

"No Paul. Eating an artificial fire log is stupid."
The complete interview with Dr. Gertrude Marchand, editor of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Stupidity.

Paul Moth: "Hustler is...degrading..."
Carl Johnson: "Ever read the Red Book?"
The political panel talks dirty politics. Also contains the exchange:
CJ: "I read Modern Philologist for my thrills..."
PM: "Is that the Danish one?"

From GE January 16, 1999:

From Wordworks, with Kathleen Hanrahan, a discussion of Evelyn Bradley-Meade, the "leading theatrical twit of his time..."
KH: "Yes with his trademark 9-iron, a prop he used to, uh, great effect..."
PM: "'Up the bum eh, wha...extraordinary...!'"
Bradley-Meade, who played Colonel Blithers in "Fudge on the Fritz" was featured in last week's GE web.

Paul interviews St. John's Traffic Czar Carl Piercey, former UNSJ Dean of Parking Administration:
Details on the millenium on-ramp page.

And always a fan favourite, Lawrence Royce-Hiscock weighs in with his occasional fashion reports. This week: German conceptual designer Arc Welder:
LRH: "You are a simple designer, maybe the simplest ever. But is this too simple?"
AW: "My goal has always been to make an absolutely pure statement, so this is perfect."
LRH: "Just the logo, nothing else."
AW: "Ya, just the label."
LRH: "Designer nothing."
AW: "Designer nothing."
LRH: "I'm speechless."
AW: "Ya."
LRH: "Wow."

From GE January 9, 1999:

"Let me take you 'round the back way."
"I'm afraid I'm not up on your Cambridge traditions, sir..."
Elmer misunderstands Colonel Blithers.

"I'll get to the bottom of this, or my name isn't...Elmer...Coll....."
Ah the magic of live radio. The actors flub their lines on the air.

"Let's just hope professor Fudge hasn't teamed up with Adolph Shickelgruber and his Nazi Nogoodburgers. Or it will be a long way to Tipperary. A long long long long way." Also contains the memorable exchange:
"And remember, loose lips sink ships."
"Is that what they do Elmer?"

"The girls in Vichy, are dishy and love to kissy-kissy..."
Elmer and Bonnie disguised as Nazi Entertainers Pierre and Claire, dish out vaudeville, Vichy-style.

"In regulation khaki, mufti and navy ribbed..."
A public service announcement for Private Hygiene for Men from Furlongs.

GE January 2, 1999:

Complete audio from GE Jan. 2 can be found on the stories page.

GE December 19, 1998

Complete audio from GE Dec. 19 can be found on the Christmas stories page.

GE November 28, 1998

"The confidence this gives me Natalia...I'm buoyed. I really am. I feel that I don't want to wear a shirt."
Paul gets the full back, shoulders and neck treatment at Mr. Hair.

GE November 21, 1998

"Go on b'ye. Nobody took it seriously. If you had a funny name you were an open target in those days."
Ish Lundrigan explaining Telephony, the early BCN crank call show. All three excerpts from the program are here.

"We run a laugh track in the office. We run all our material past it...to check the timing."
Paul interviews the proprietors of Executive Comedy.

GE November 14, 1998

Tons of audio from the Listeners' Letters episode can be found here.

GE November 7, 1998

Extensive audio from the moose-hunting episode can be found here.

GE October 31, 1998

"...Skeletons of the band members. They must have been walled in alive. OK, so they weren't that good a band...but that's harsh criticism indeed..."
Paul falls through the Vault into the old BCN Big Band Bunkhouse.
Real Audio

"Erling?...Erling?...What the hell is going on around here today..." A Traffic Alert audio gem...
Real Audio

"Halloween is the perfect time of year to introduce young persons to issues surrounding death and the dying." Morris Jesso promo for a special edition of Interred entitled "Someday Scooter, You'll be Dead too."
Real Audio

"I think if you review your history Ariel Flint, you'll find that many of those free thinkers and students...disappeared." J. Richard Candow disputes Ariel Flint's assertion that Augusto Pinochet killed thousands. A complete political panel.
Real Audio

GE October 24, 1998

From Boil Up in 1959, Ron Gellately, broadcasting from Famish Gut, er...loses it...
"Day after day, week after week...making a public spectacle of myself... It's me now...and Wilber the monkey."
Real Audio "...And here's the dacha near Twillingate."
Paul and Kathleen Hanrahan discuss the new biography of Nicholas Murphkin, the Newfoundlander who lived his life as a Russian novelist. Real Audio

GE October 17, 1998

Extensive audio from the Funk Islands Episode can be found here.

GE October 10, 1998

In the Vault, Ish Lundrigan gives us some background to the opening of the BCN Funk Island's Repeater Station, in preparation for Paul's trip. From Here Come the 40's:
"The repeater itself is a battery — 400,000 watts — 60 tons of mercury and 12,000 gallons of sulfuric acid. Guaranteed to run until the year 2000. The metal tower is built in a wooden matrix that also serves as the futtocks in the superstructure of a mammoth barge...."
Real Audio

Lawrence Royce-Hiscock on the new North Atlantic Collection. BCN's fashion reporter covers "a show that combined infantile self-indulgence with a mature anorexic narcissism..." amidst "The usual crush of imbeciles and bimbos..."
Real Audio

Quick clip bonus: Tracey Babstock, host of BCN's Jock and Jill, on the career of Maxy Chubbs, picked dead last in the amateur draft by the Toronto Maple Leafs:
"Maxy was having a terrible training camp, and then he had the blade of a stick driven through his cranium and it punctured the part of the brain that controls aggression and he's been tearin' up the league ever since..."
WAV file: 152 K

GE October 3, 1998

Paul and Kathleen Hanrahan discuss the new novel by Deborah Kearney: The Blue Bone
Kathleen: "Kearney doesn't anthropomorphise the dogs. They speak and think like dogs, not people."
Paul: "How would she know? I mean, I had a dog once and from strictly empirical observation his thinking would go,'I'm hungry...must scratch that...wonder how the balls are doing? ...slurp slurp..."
Kathleen: "Just let me read from the book Paul."
Paul: *Pant pant...*
Kathleen: "Paul!"
Real Audio

Paul's talks tech with BCN Systems guy (and your webmeister) Blaine Hart, and is introduced to new technologies that block unsavory content from your browser....
Blaine: "Let's try to find an un savoury site."
Paul: Just go to my bookmarks and try 'In the Feet of the Night'...ooohh. Look at that. Clogs. Wait. waitwatiwaiiiit!
Blaine: "See. Locked out. The gate's closed."
Paul: "Fascinating. You can disable that now Blaine."
Blaine: "I'm not allowed actually. I'm supposed to keep them installed on all the machines. Ish's orders."
Paul: "Big Brother. Now what did I just finish telling you?"
Blaine: "It's a productivity issue."
Paul: "Sure it is. This is public radio pal."
Real Audio

GE September 26, 1998

More details on the American Wavelength page.

Igniting the coal-fired generator.
"I almost expect to see giant vacuum tubes..."
generator.mp3 310 K

A King's Ransom
"... fifty two British thermal units is to grouse hunting as Sydney, Australia is to what famous star of the London Stage...."
kings_ransom.mp3 247 K

Salty Tales
"Twenty years ago, I shipped out of Jamaica with a load of hemp and rum...and sailed to the West Coast of deepest, darkest Africa, where I saw a man eat the living brains out of another man..."
lloyd_duncan2.mp3 206 K

"And so, until next time...if we live to see it, I am Morris Jesso."
morris_jesso.mp3 417 K

St. John's surrenders to the Germans
"A great big warm Newfoundland Heil Hitler..."
ron_gellately.mp3 211 K

GE September 19, 1998

The Crofter's Rebellion of 1742.
See also the complete text of Henrik Moth's recitation.
Real Audio

...a toothpick skewering a cocktail wiener.
"Actually it says here it's a haggis on a pike."
WAV file: 177k

"Exterminate the Brutes"
J. Richard Candow on means for dealing with unruly APEC protesters.
Real Audio

GE September 12, 1998

The Newfoundland Eugenics Institute
A Winston Pilgrim report from 1959, from the Vault.
Ish: "The first batch...had a problem with biting, and well, once they got a taste for human flesh..."
Real Audio

Uncle Jack's Shack
"Now today class, we're going to snare...a moose."
Real Audio

Dr. Fousty's Smell of History
Kathleen Hanrahan brings in the new scratch 'n sniff curriculum.
"Pipe tobacco...pickled meat...this is good. Oh...gangrene...smell..."
"Yuck, no...Paul, get that away from me..."
"Don't be so stuck up Kathleen. Go on. Have a whiff."
Real Audio

The Brothers of the Grey Briquet
Paul visits his alma mater, St. Matthew's College.
"It was run by a little known sect, wasn't it?"
"Yes, the Brazier Order. The Brothers of the Grey Briquet. They're a grilling congregation."
"A grilling order..."
"They were originally grillers of meat for the Avignon popes. But when they came back under the influence of Rome, they were tasked with the education of heathens. But because of their origins in grilling they were excused from the encomium to eat fish on Friday."
"You ate meat on Friday?"
"Well, it looked like meat"
Real Audio

GE March 14, 1998

"Go in there and strip. Put your clothes in this bag and someone will see you...whenever."
Real Audio

"That's a big syringe."
"You think that's a big syringe...what about this one?"
Paul, AKA "Mrs. Murphy" finally gets looked at by an intern.
Real Audio

"This is hexogarbonzabean. It'll put you to sleep."
"Sixty mils! Hah! I used to take that much just to get out of bed in the morning..."
Real Audio

GE March 7, 1998

Special: the complete "Elmer Collins: Ham Operator" clip from Bullseye Mystery Theatre. Classic radio from the BCN!
Real Audio

GE Feb. 21, 1998

"All you English people drink too much, don't you..."
"Yes...yes indeed..."
AIF file: 95k

Ned Brocklehurst, the performance artist who, in his final piece, had his cerebral cortex removed. It was, says Paul, "the very greatest thing I have ever seen."
Real Audio

GE 7 Feb. 1998

Maria bello this morgen...
Archive tape of the Universal Public Broadcasting Language — Electrosprach.
Real Audio

"What is it with Budge, eh?"
"Budge Doyle is a knob, Paul..."
AIF file: 53 K

GE 24 Jan. 1998

Show Trial
"It's futile Mr. Coady, the door to Show Trial is locked...from the outside...!"
Real Audio

The Guy Gap
Ger Caddigan and Bill Murphy put to rest the rumour that there's a guy gap in St. John's. "Get out of bed in the morning...sure I'm still drunk in the morning! And then they complain about that!"
Real Audio.

The North Atlantic Collection
The wreckage piled up on the runways of the Hotel Palmer Hotel for the new North Atlantic Collection. Join Lawrence Royce-Hiscock for the latest from the world of fashion. "Well...mercy, that is short."
Real Audio.

BONUS: A quick clip from Paul on a radio rival: "I don't mean to disparage my competition, but Harvey McCarthy is a moron, a gobshite and a mental invalid. How did he ever win last time?"
AIF file 103k

GE 31 Jan. 1998

The best "Weather and Traffic Update" award from the Marconi Awards — BCN's only trophy. Presented by Lister Sinclair.
Real Audio

Roger Greeley's song stylings from the awards show, with a special appearance by the BCN Coal Stoker's Choir.
Real Audio

GE 17 Jan. 1998

The Guillotine
On the Jan. 17 show Paul recalls his stay in Paris, after escaping from the debacle at Oougoubomba. Here's a clip from his stop at the Museum of the Revolution, where he gets up close and personal with...a guillotine:
Real Audio

The Game of Love
And here's a clip from Paul's first date in years. "I remember when a coke, a smoke and a puff bar would win you at least a little tongue.... These days, even supper doesn't get you anywhere in the game of love..."
Real Audio

GE 15 Nov. 1997

Paul's Pot
The Tapas bars of Spain. "I confess...I love the dish!"
Real Audio

Carry On Up The Bomba
From The Vault: a very young Carry On gang entertaining the troops in Oougubomba in 1946.
Real Audio

The fall of Bebopalulah
Also from The Vault: Arch Pilgrim narrates the end of Newfoundland's colonial experience in Oougubomba. "Good intentions, but...things fall apart..."
Real Audio

Giant Sizzler Worms
Paul gets the lowdown on Oougubomba's less pleasant aspects.
Real Audio

GE 8 Nov. 1997

What about the Great Eastern Canada doesn't get?
Good question. Paul and Erling provide the answer.
Real Audio

Hey Warden, audit...THIS!
Uncle Jack is back. And Warden Coombs is in hot pursuit.
Real Audio

íVamose Pepito Vamose!
Excerpt from one of Paul's famous Pepito El Grande movies.
Real Audio

Bomb's Away
Wing Cmdr. Berkeley Regular promotes the program. "There's dust up your crack...!"
Real Audio

GE 1 Nov. 1997

Classical Comedy
Sunday night at 7 on the BCN: "Did I say that already?"
Real Audio

Paul gets his palm read
"We're you dead?"
"Back in '89, I flatlined for a few minutes..."
(Includes "probing" flashback....)
Real Audio

"Past your best-before date?" Morris Jesso promotes the most popular show on BCN.
Real Audio

GE 25 Oct. 1997

A one-hit wonder
Paul's spelling triumph in Birmingham, England.
Real Audio

With Brendan Hennebury and Donny Tucker. "You're supposed to say Thursday you tool!"
Real Audio

GE 18 Oct. 1997

Before the hunt
Paul Moth, Bill Murphy, Gerry Cadigan and Farley Monk prepare for the moose hunt. Includes a tour of Paul's extensive gun collection, and an explanation of the need for frozen moose genitals.
Real Audio

A change of pants
The boys come across moose signs with explosive results.
Real Audio

Iceland Report
"This week, sample me with the cookings of Iceland." Bjarni Gudmundson talks.
Real Audio

Young Sam
The boys, lost, find Ron Gellately's old cabin, complete with John Franklin Beans, and some very old bottles of dark rum....
Real Audio

"Don't probe me...!"
The beans bring back bad memories for Paul.
AIF file 114K

The rum brings out Bill's moose call, and more...
AIF file 193K

GE 11 Oct. 1997

University of the "Hair"
"Bouffon today, pouf tomorrow?"
Real Audio

Hugh Kuva
Excerpt from profile of Hugh Kuva. Paul: "We had a mutual dea...acquaintance..."
Real Audio

Bomb's Away!
With Wng. Cmdr. Berkely Regular.
Real Audio

Rocky Road to Recovery
Excerpts from the BCN dramatization of Paul Moth's autobiography: The Rocky Road to Recovery: The Paul Moth Story. "Hitting bottom in the City of Angels..."
Real Audio

GE 27 Sept. 1997

Enter the Conkerbell Lodge
Members of the lodge make a grand entrance at the wake of Sir Freeman Crotty, Commissioner of Broadcasting for Newfoundland.
Real Audio

Lloyd Duncan arrives
Captain Lloyd arrives at the wake, causing great mayhem. Special appearance by Morris Jesso.
Real Audio

Uncle Jack's Shack
"...Come on Esau...give your Uncle Jack a kidney..."
Real Audio

"Birds flying in front of the signal would drop from the sky fully cooked."
Ish lundrigan on the wartime transmitter.
AIF file 33K

"I think the plate in my head's got nickel in it."
The political panel discusses Voisey's Bay
AIF file 98K

"I dunno...a case of Pepsi and a dime of black hash?"
J. Richard Candow's constitutional offer to Quebec.
AIF file 54K

GE 20 Sept. 1997

Paul's Pot
"It's one taste sensation after another..." Promo for Chef Paul Benoit's show.
Real Audio

Look, Its
"Noxious societal excreta..."
Real Audio

Delbert Onglow's "This Can't Be Happening to Me..."
Real Audio

Twillingate Wank
Featured on the BCN Concert Series
Real Audio

Stuff Magazine
"Our design guy...is from the remote layout school, so that's intentional."
Real Audio

Fashion Report
A complete piece from Lawrence Royce-Hiscock reporting from Iceland. "The girls are so fabulously gaunt...and such pallor..."
Real Audio

GE 13 Sept. 1997

University of the Air
Promo for the popular weekday program.
Real Audio

Sailor's Tobacco
Two back-to-back ads for Sailor's Tobacco, one from 1950, another contemporary ad for Sailor's Cadets.
Real Audio

GE 6 Sept. 1997

Beyond Measure
The visionary architecture of Rodney "Duff" Wheeler. (Book review with Kathleen Hanrahan). Duff Wheeler's rendering of the Coal-fired transmitter is available in the archives.
Real Audio

The Happy Tightwad
"Ever hear of a lubricated instrument?" Bernard Ayre's program promo.
Real Audio

Christian Women's Hour
"It's a Godless future for the children of Newfoundland." Promo for the Christian Women's Hour on BCN.
Real Audio

Variety Meats
"Fried, baked, or boiled, it's always delicious at Variety Meats." Promo for Variety Meats on BCN.
Real Audio

Paul: "She was throwin' heat, with a lot of movement on it. All I heard was the sound of the ball in the glove...."
AIF file 122K

Paul: "Look, once and alcoholic, junkie, sedative, hypnotic transhallucinogen, cokehead, three-pack-a-day man...
AIF file 172K

1996-97 Season

"You're listening to the Broadcasting Corporation of Newfoundland..."
WAV file: 60 K

15 March, 1997

"I've always been perplexed by the mind that is amused by objects that are extremely large or extremely small"
"I'm not gonna say anything now."
AIF file 101 K

"Knees going? FInding your back? Prostate inflamed? Yes, though they are having trouble accepting it, those Young Unrban Professionals are passing through middle age, and will soon be dying in the millions..."
AIF file 163 K

"Slip this mortal coil...on Interred...Sundays...noon...on BCN...with me...Morris Jesso."
AIF file 128 K

"In the old days, you would just scoop up whatever was left around the saws...a few snouts...a few feet..."
"...and the backing on the eyesockets...what do they call that?"
"I dunno...Mom had a name for it."
AIF file 127 K

"This is a beautiful white pudding. It's an aged ivory. It's marbled with whiter veins. It's flecked with darker spots..."
AIF file 181 K

From Lookits: "Afro-relativity: Was Einstein Black? Masturbatory recontextualiztion of Barney: I Love You; You Love Me..."
AIF file 329 K

BCN/VONG signoff...
AIF file 320K

8 March, 1997

"By the way, what was it with Paul...some kind of fatigue?"
"Um, yeah, that's right..."
AIF file 90 K

"You created a whole new language of mundane duplicity and pointless anomie...pathetic self deception."
"Do you really think so?"
AIF file 105 K

"I say to the girls, Why bother to eat? Today there is no free lunch..." "I understood there...was going to be a lunch....no?"
AIF file 118 K

"...and share the misery...with good parents of bad children."
AIF file 76 K

"Then join the hunt for a new economic paradigm. Is it in the canteen? Maybe it's down in the basement. Behind the photocopier? Ah well, it's bound to turn up..."
AIF file 106 K

22 February, 1997

"Bill...ya got the worms in your mouth?"
"You gotta keep 'em in your mouth!"
AIF file 163 K

"Bill...you didn't take my socks, did you, Bill?"
"Bite me..."
AIF file 58 K

"Whattya think about...men...being together?"
"Sometimes I think about women being together...gives me kind of a warm feeling... where are you going with this, Ger?"
AIF file 145 K

"I'm just trying to figure out who I am..."
"You're an arsehole. Question answered."
AIF file 52 K

9 November, 1996...

"These men on blades, clad in blue and red...they seem to be carrying the weight of the world...in an existential funk here as they glide across the solid state H2O. Do I pass, or do I kill myself, they ask..."
WAV file: 199 K
AIF file: 199 K

"OH those G.D. Leafs...and that traitor Plante...he's got horseshoes up his arse...."
WAV file: 138 K
AIF file: 138 K

"Punch Imlach...he made a pact with Beelzebub. That's how they won the Cup in '67"
WAV file: 210 K
AIF file: 210 K

"Yeah baby, I'm back. Join me, Max "Manhattan" Noftall Saturday evenings at 11 for The Light Fantastico...."
WAV file: 193 K
AIF file: 193 K

"Why do they give an ex-junkie like Paul Moth a radio show...?"
WAV file: 202 K
AIF file: 202 K

"Look at that...that is amazing...what incredible...technology. Oh my, she's driving a standard...more clutch...more clutch!"
WAV file: 217 K
AIF file: 217 K

"Come. Sit. Come I said. Oh, shag it, go on..."
WAV file: 182 K
AIF file: 182 K

"Philosophically speaking, isn't the event here its very absence?"
"And they were saying over to the Press Club that you were clean...."
WAV file:
102 K
AIF file: 102 K

2 November, 1996...

"Dib this Grandad."
"Disgusting little cretin."
WAV file: 114 K
AIF file: 114 K

"Is this some sort of in-joke or am I just stupid?"
WAV file: 43 K
AIF file: 43 K

"Thus the Great Eastern Studio O is the killing floor, the lobby is the pens; Human Resources — rendering. Your cheque is rendered they say around here..."
WAV file: 239 K
AIF file: 239 K

"I think Erling's celebrity is going to his head...I can't suffer any more of this...."
WAV file: 212 K
AIF file: 212 K

"The media is controlled by the left. They're the ones putting the kibosh on the death penalty...because if it were up to us you know we'd be frying Mr. Pothead, Mr. Crack Cocaine in the Breakfast Cereal...."
WAV file: 336 K
AIF file: 336 K

"How's this for Radio to Call You Own... hahahahahahahahaa......"
WAV file: 368 K
AIF file: 368 K

26 October, 1996...

"Good reception I guess in the High Volta."
" Oh yes and of course that warm tone to the coal-fired signal..."
WAV file: 118 K
AIF file: 118 K

"Look at young Gar, he's got beseltines up him....Yes there's nothing so well-behaved as a shitbaked youngster."
WAV file: 102 K
AIF file: 102 K

"There is a tale known by many deceased. The dark, fearsome yarn of the Great Wooly Beast."
WAV file: 460 K
AIF file: 460 K

"You can't play God!"
"We'll know that in a moment...."
WAV file: 232 K
AIF file: 232 K

"Alas, poor Walter Disney. I knew him....a fellow of infinite jest and most excellent fancy..."
WAV file: 143 K
AIF file: 143 K

"You know, whatever it is...the smell of latex just sets my hear aflutter..."
WAV file: 79 K
AIF file: 79 K

"Just what were the French doing here anyway?"
"They seem to have been digging themselves."
"You mean, self-pleasuring or mining?"
WAV file: 138 K
AIF file: 138 K

19 October, 1996...

"They say no one suffered but then again who can really say."
WAV file: 142 K
AIF file: 142 K

"Miles Davis: the bummer years."
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"Libby Sinyard...shows you how to turn your fish plant into a casino."
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"Are you OK Puff?"
"Bit of pickled wiener...."
"He'll be fine."
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"I dunno, Puff, the man's got a nice ass...."
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"Wicked slapshot on the lad, but he could never figure the game out..."
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"Del brain star-dot-star? Are you sure? Absolutely!"
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331 K
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"...and you...Paul StLaurent Boothby Moth, have been livin' off those ill-gotten gains. And now I'm here...to collect the rent!"
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12 October, 1996...

The entire Paul Moth interview with Margaret Atwood!
"...uhhh...you enjoying your trip?"
"Yes I am..."
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"In the shadow of the tower, you can see the steroid-crazed enforcers of the UNSJ Lancers football team out on the university's pitch...violating the mascot."
WAV file: 156 K
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"Iaax, could you tell Mitzi it's time for my massage?"
"Yes, sir. Absolutely"....when hell freezes over....
WAV file: 97 K
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"So you seem to know about the five year plan...who talked? Names! I want names!"
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"Yes...well, as Max Weber wrote, the exceptional bureaucrat...must size up the workers with absolute objectivity prior to sizing them down..."
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"Elmer the Safety Elephant advocates self-love. Hmm. That's an interesting one."
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"With a grandchild under each arm, a culvert to knit and mayoral duties for the Town of Sop's Bight, Libby's dance card looks full. But wait...she's still got to bottle a moose."
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"This is the most advanced chocolate accelerator in the world."
WAV file: 151 K
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"To put it in simple layman's terms, our goal is to make knobs juicier and Mr. Big bigger..."
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"Do you presume to criticize the omniscient Prof-O-Tron?"
WAV file: 177 K
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"Just look at all this stuff...this latin...ogay uckfay ourselfyay...."
WAV file: 169 K
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5 October, 1996...

"...and I do not...have a thing for Conservative women."
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"The twist is...?"
"They're all serial killers."
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"...a way of life that is in fact mean, dirty, crude, ultimately unsatisfying, personally humiliating and never, ever, EVER...worth the effort."
WAV file: 154 K
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"...how did you ever guess the Schrodinger Wave Equation?"
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"...go west, young man...that's right...a little further..."
WAV file: 350 K
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"Traffic Alert brought to you by Furlong Knobs. Whether it's bullseyes, peppermint or molasses, enjoy a Furlong Knob today."
WAV file: 146 K
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"...the most garish spectacle of corporate excess since the fall of Rome."
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"...I guess because for most of my adult life I've been overcome by the sensation I've been missing something."
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"What do you say, b'yes? '└ table!' "
WAV file: 513 K
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"At 2, Puffy Barbour and Toe Rowsell size up extreme sports in Newfoundland: Monster Darts, Equestrian Bowling and the Team Cliff-hang."
WAV file: 159 K
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"Honey, they're suckin' out the Duke's brains!"
"They're not sucking out his brains dear. That's how they make 'whoopie'!"
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28 September, 1996...

"Don't probe me!!....Don't probe me!!!.........."
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"Oh...you know...it was fantastic..."
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"...it hurts to listen to it. It really does. That's the kind of news I like..."
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"...established himself as a God-king. Unfortunately he was cannibalized by his followers in a religious frenzy in 1952..."
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"On behalf of the people of the Dominion of Newfoundland I take great pleasure in presenting you with this gift of hard biscuit."
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"...and look. What are these? Lines leading from the intestines to the money supply...."
WAV file: 143 K
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"I used to play a game just like this with Shirley Jones..."
WAV file: 83 K
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"Nor is there....a conspiracy involving the major Canadian Banks..."
WAV file: 151 K
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"The pattern of crosses of the Knights Templar appearing on the facade of the CBC Broadcast Center in Toronto is, we are told, entirely coincidental."
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